


Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down

by gothmadeline



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Body Worship, Confessions, Egobang - Freeform, F/M, First Time, Friendship, Kink Negotiation, Light BDSM, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Requited Love, Shibari, Threesome - F/M/M, egoflapbang, flapbang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-06-18 10:59:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15484293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothmadeline/pseuds/gothmadeline
Summary: Dan lets out a quiet laugh and jabs at Arin playfully. “What, like you’ve got a lot of experience with being tied up? I think this guy might know a thing or two about what he’s doing, man.”Dan’s still watching the stage as the performer is slowly pulled up from the platform, but he recognizes a silence going too long. The audience starts clapping, but Dan ignores them, turning his head. “Arin?”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be 4k at most & here we are. 
> 
> The work is complete & I'll be posting once a week, unless I get impatient right at the end (it happens). 
> 
> Immeasurable thanks to my DM squad & betas, hopelesslybenaddicted and bluebatwings. Y'all are the real video game boys & truly narsty, thanks for squeeing with me over this <3 
> 
> Herein lies some kink negotiations & I've tried to tag for everything I can think of. If you read through & find something you think should be tagged, leave a comment & I'll update. 
> 
> Title taken from the Almodovar film, but plot has zero relation!

It’s a spur of the moment thing. 

Someone pinged Brian on twitter about an erotic arts festival happening the same day the Grumps were on tour in Seattle. He texted Dan from back in LA, mentioning they might could write his tickets off as a work expense for NSP. Dan sent him back a winking emoji and an eggplant. 

Arriving there in the morning meant the group had the day to themselves. Dan cajoles Arin and Suzy into going with him while Vernon declines, citing the need for a well deserved nap. Brent calls them perverts and Arin cheerfully flips him the bird while Suzy orders their tickets online. 

By noon, the trio have eaten lunch and wait to have their tickets checked at the door of the venue. Dan bounces on his heels, a leather jacket pulled over his t-shirt counting as ‘dressed up,’ for him. Arin tied his hair back and put on actual jeans, while Suzy looks like she immaculately rose from a goth grave in perfect makeup and cloud of sweet perfume. 

“Do you think they’re gonna have like… big statues of dicks in here?” Arin muses. 

Dan snorts. “Or maybe big dicked statues? I wouldn’t count it out.” 

Suzy rolls her eyes and pushes on Dan’s arm. “You guys have never looked at erotic art even once, have you?” 

Arin gasps. “How dare you, Suzy! I’ll have you know I’ve seen every installment of ‘Romantic Dude Cums On A Rose’ and if that’s not art, I don’t know what is.” He puffs up in faux indignance. 

The title takes Dan by surprise and he has to lean against the wall in a helpless giggle fit. “What the fuck, Arin!” he manages after swiping a hand across his face. 

“I don’t think they’ll have anything as high art as that in here,” Arin says as he crosses his arms and watches the line move forward, a smile creeping up from the corner of his mouth. 

They reach the door and Suzy is the only one who’s carded. Dan laughs at her smug look as she holds the door open for them and they’re let onto the festival floor. 

It’s not what Dan expects at all. Natural light comes from high windows, the glass nearer to the floor covered by dark fabric. It gives the room a shadowy, intimate feel, despite being the size of a football field. Several small, round stages dot the room, with vendor booths in an aisle next to nooks of art galleries. 

While no explicit nudity was allowed at the venue, there are plenty of people walking around in very little clothing, or sometimes completely covered, as a person in a gimp suit walks by the trio proves. Dan pushes his hair back from his ears in a nervous gesture while they take in the room, not really understanding why he feels nervous. He’s almost 40! He fronts a band that sings about sex all the time! He can’t get past the feeling that he’s fourteen and sneaking peeks of a dirty mag in the locker room at school. 

He jumps when Arin places a palm low on his back and murmurs, “Cat got your tongue, Sexbang? What are you waiting for?” He pushes Dan forward a little and he swears he can feel Arin’s touch straight through two layers of fabric. His ears burn, but he blames it on his state of mind. He and Arin touch each other all the time, nothing to it. He's just jumpy.

Suzy and Arin loop their fingers together as she drags them towards the artwork first. Sensual portraits of lovers embracing, manipulated images of ecstasy, and paintings of compromising positions hang on tasteful red walls. Dan and Arin snicker quietly over a sculpture that encourages the audience to dig their fingers into a papier-mache labia for fortune cookie paper slips with feminist quips on them, but for the most part, their jibes are quiet. The tone doesn’t feel right for overt laughter. 

The art has a strange effect on Dan, where he never thought to look at the turn of a hip as beautiful. Or when they pass a woman having her body painted, his eyes are drawn to the swirls of color on her wrists and the crooks of her elbows instead of the obvious spectacle of her breasts. The whole environment makes him feel slow, content and speculative as they continue their stroll towards the performance stages. 

There’s a loud whirring that draws their attention and they head to a stage where a group of people stand around a PVC frame on the platform. A man lies inside a sheath of latex with a vacuum sucking all the air out, his mouth drawing breath through a small hole. Flowers cover his body in an artful arrangement - long stalks of lavender are tucked next to his ribs, while lilies line his stomach in a v-formation and small daisies hug his collarbones. The watchers encourage the audience to come forward and gently touch the performer, explaining the heightened sensations the latex and suction provide. 

Plenty of people step forward, but Dan startles when Suzy lets go of Arin’s hand and boldly walks right up to the stage. She settles between two other participants and runs a small hand down the man’s arm, sliding over to the jut of his hips, her fingers tapping softly. Arin and Dan hang back, but when Suzy returns to them, Dan’s reminded of a cat, her expression sated and mischievous. She gives Dan a wink and he awkwardly turns away under the pretense of them moving on to another performance so she won’t see his shocked expression. What’s gotten into him today? They all aggressively flirt with each other so often it was beyond second nature, just instinctual to their relationships at this point. 

He’s lost in thought while his feet take him forward, until Arin grabs his jacket at the upper arm. “Slow down, dude,” Arin laughs. He moves his arm forward and curls his fingers around the inside of Dan’s elbow. He’s smiling but it wanes a little at Dan’s expression. Arin searches his face. “We’re supposed to be having fun - are you okay? Do you want to leave?”

Dan immediately feels silly and a tension he hadn’t know was there drops from his shoulders. He gives the couple a sheepish grin and shakes his head, “Nah, I’m fine! I promise. Gotta be all the sexy pheromones in here making me spacey. Let’s keep going.” He tugs and Arin follows, his hand still tucked into the fold of Dan’s arm. He can feel Suzy’s eyes on the back of his neck, but she doesn’t say anything as they reach another stage. 

There’s a tatami mat platform built up from the main stage, so that the audience is able to see every angle of the performance. A woman kneels, legs slightly spread, while a man efficiently winds strand after strand of coarse rope around her thighs. Her head is bowed while she takes deep, calm breaths. Each movement of her chest pushes against her restraints, the lines of a pentagram criss-crossing her collar bones and under her breasts. 

The rigger pulls against the knots at her ankles and connects more rope to the nest of braids at the center of her back, causing her to arch delicately. A spotlight above the performance makes her look like a captured bird, or a frozen dancer. Dan can’t tear his eyes away. He doesn’t realize he’s made a noise until Arin pulls his hand away from his arm. It surprises him more that he didn’t even realize they were still linked. He looks at Arin and Suzy, who has her hand slipped into the back pocket of Arin’s jeans. Dan can’t see her expression, but he can definitely see Arin’s look of concern. 

The mood feels… shifted. Something is happening and Dan’s a nervous talker. He leans slightly closer to Arin and nudges him. “I didn’t take you for a prude, Mr. High Art,” Dan jokes quietly. Arin darts him a look and frowns. “I’m not a prude. This is beautiful, but…” 

Dan raises an eyebrow. “But?” 

Arin sighs through his nose and Dan can see Suzy put her head on his shoulder, tugging him a little closer. _Maybe he doesn’t want me to just stare at him like a weirdo_ , Dan thinks, before turning his eyes back to the stage, giving Arin his space. The rigger bends down and puts his ear next to the performer’s mouth, murmuring a quiet question before nodding. Dan watches her squeeze two of his fingers from where her hands are folded behind her back. He almost forgets he asked Arin a question until he answers. 

“I just don’t think that would feel very good. Look how rough the rope is - that’s being tightened around the most sensitive skin of her body. I don’t know how she can stand it.” 

Dan hears Suzy answer from the other side. “Maybe she just has a higher pain tolerance than you. Some people find a little roughness exciting.” 

The rigger gently rocks the performer onto her stomach, her body pulled into an almost perfect circle. Arin hums in thought. 

“Yeah, I guess so. But he’s about to suspend her. If she moves even a little bit, that’s going to chafe all over. He didn’t even check to see if she has enough wiggle room.” 

Dan lets out a quiet laugh and jabs at Arin playfully. “What, like you’ve got a lot of experience with being tied up? I think this guy might know a thing or two about what he’s doing, man.”

Dan’s still watching the stage as the performer is slowly pulled up from the platform, but he recognizes a silence going too long. The audience starts clapping, but Dan ignores them, turning his head. “Arin?” 

Arin’s neck is flushed, the color high in his cheeks, but he doesn’t glance away after Dan calls his name. The look on his face changes Dan’s body temperature in .2 seconds, going from relaxed to overheated. He’s aware of every stitch of clothing that’s touching his body at that moment while he and Arin just… stare at each other. If he thought he couldn’t look away from the performer, he had no idea what was standing right next to him. He feels something fundamental shifting around, a cosmic step that he’s maybe a little frightened of. It’s the tremor in the glass of water before the T-Rex shows up in _Jurassic Park_ and Dan’s not sure what’s coming around the corner for him when Arin parts his lips to speak. 

Before either of them can break the tension, Suzy is pulling at Arin’s back pocket, her fingers hooked into the material. She leans around to look up at Dan, her expression unreadable. 

“Hey, it’s almost three. We need to get back to the venue and start setting up.” 

The moment dissipates and Arin grins at his wife. “Aw man, we were just getting to the good stuff here. I guess we’ll have to go be outstanding, amazingly handsome entertainers on our own stage.” 

Suzy laughs as the three start towards the door. “Well, you could still count as erotic entertainment. You guys make enough dick jokes.” 

Dan chuckles along with them, but it feels forced. He follows slightly behind, winded from the memories of what just happened. He almost feels a little irritated that Arin seems perfectly fine, chattering about the festival as they blink in the afternoon Seattle sun. He doesn’t realize he’s lost in thought again until Suzy slips her hand into his, letting Arin stand on the corner ahead to call a Lyft. 

She smiles at him, but Dan can see the thoughts lurking behind her cheeriness. He doesn’t know what she wants, but he gives her a small smile in return and squeezes her hand. She leans against him while asking about his favorite parts of the festival and the three of them chat while waiting on the ride, the mood slipping back into their normal vibe. 

But while Dan can get back to their regularly scheduled lewdness, he can’t forget. The look on Arin’s face and the way Suzy watched him stays with him through the show, through his post-performance shower, and all the way to his hotel bed, leaving him staring at the ceiling long into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Video of flower latex bed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjVoP3LFOj8)
> 
>  
> 
> The idea for this was loosely based on the [Seattle Erotic Arts Festival](https://vimeo.com/173702636), which is very real & something I'd very much like to go to. 
> 
> 'Romantic Dude Cums on a Rose' is also real, but that's for you & google to talk about. A runner up for best porn name I almost used - My Ass is Haunted (also real).


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the lovely feedback so far ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
> 
> Much love to my sparkling betas hopelesslybenaddicted & bluebatwings - I heard Arin say he's gonna kiss you!! 
> 
> A new chapter next Sunday!

The tour ends and they head back home. Three sleepless nights of recording for 12 hours before they left gives them a backlog for a few days and Dan takes advantage of the space away from Arin. He clears his head as best he can and writes a bullet list. It follows: 

1\. Arin and Suzy are into kinky shit.   
2\. Arin probably gets tied up.  
3\. By Suzy?   
4\. I had a maybe sexy reaction to this news.  
5\. I think Suzy knows.   
6\. ???

Annnnnd now what? Dan glances at his phone lying on his kitchen counter while he waits for some water to boil. He should just text Arin, get it out in the open, then they can laugh about their weird reactions and be done. 

But they _do_ laugh about this stuff! All the time! Their careers are practically built on a foundation of talking about weird sex stuff. Arin is EXTREMELY open about all the things he does to his body - but that’s the thing that makes Dan pause. Even in private, when it’s just them joking around, Dan’s not ever 100% sure if Arin is actually joking or just pushing Dan’s buttons to a scandalous limit. 

It disturbs him that Arin didn’t make a joke out of this one thing and _that’s_ what’s sticking in Dan’s craw. Cause now if he makes a joke out of it, Dan’s the asshole. 

He turns off the stovetop, grabs his car keys and texts Brian instead. 

*

“I don’t really understand what you’re asking me.” Brian sips his black-as-night coffee and stares at Dan across the Starbucks table. 

Dan fidgets with the wrapper of a muffin, picking pieces off the top and not really eating. “I don’t know why I’m feeling like this - what’s making this weird? Is it just me being weird?” 

Brian doesn’t answer, just sits back in his chair and waits for Dan to continue. 

After 10 years of Brian’s piercing stare, Dan thinks he would be immune to its nerve-wracking effect, but he still feels like his best friend is staring straight through him to see the answer he’s waiting for. If Dan could sweat, he’d be wiping his brow. 

Instead he fidgets even more, finally taking a bite of his muffin. “Did you know they’re getting rid of the straws here? I don’t really see how it’s going to fix anything long term but -” 

“Dan.” 

Brian raises an eyebrow and Dan swallows thickly, sweeping away some crumbs that sprayed while he talked with his mouth full. The bite sits like lead in the bottom of his stomach. He stares at his fingers as he answers truthfully. 

“I liked the idea of it,” he whispers. As soon as it leaves his mouth, he looks up in fear for judgment. He’d been afraid of even admitting this fact to himself, not to mention Brian who knows him better than anyone else. What kind of fucked up thing was this to think about his other bestie? His _married_ bestie. His straight, married bestie who couldn’t have just laughed this off and made Dan’s life a whole lot easier. Goddamnit, Arin. 

To Brian’s credit, his expression doesn’t change and he doesn’t suddenly scoff in disgust. They sit in silence while Dan’s insides writhe in anxious doubt about fundamental facts of his life. He’s never thought of a dude this way ever - well, okay, maybe like ONCE when he was a teenager and lonely, he might have thought of kissing just about anyone who would have him. But it never came up again. It had never popped up out of the blue that he’d like to see another man kneeling, legs spread, arms tied and quietly waiting to be molded to Dan’s will. It’s like a switch had flipped inside him with just a glance from Arin and he didn’t know how to turn it off. 

Or if he even wanted to turn it off. 

“Dan, shut up.”

Dan blinks. “What? I didn’t say anything!” 

“They can hear you having an identity crisis at the international space station.” 

Dan scowls, but Brian continues. 

“How about we do some simple questions and get to the bottom of this?” 

“...okay.” 

“You like the idea of Arin being tied up.”

Dan hesitates. “Yes.” 

“Okay, so do you like the idea of you doing it, or of someone else?” 

He thinks about Suzy’s hand in Arin’s back pocket, her hand running over flowers and down the hip of the latex man. 

“Someone else.” 

“Are you sexually attracted to Arin?” 

“What, no!” he immediately answers. At Brian’s continued silence, he mentally steps back and reassess. Is he? 

Brian leans forward and says, “Tying someone up doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual. It’s a power dynamics structure. A person voluntarily submitting their will and trust to another. The person in charge has a sense of responsibility and protectiveness for this trust they’ve been given.” 

Dan narrows his eyes. “You seem to know an awful lot about this.”

“You don’t know everything about me, Danny.”

Dan groans and drops his head to the sticky table. “Goddamnit, Brian. NO. I can’t even figure out what’s going on with one best friend, don’t go dropping these weird secrets into my subconscious. This is complicated enough as it is.” 

Brian’s smirk allays some of Dan’s ire, but they somber quickly. “Let me ask a less complicated question then. Imagine you’re in a room where Arin is tied up. He’s completely under your will. Do you want it to be a sexual situation?” 

He lets himself imagine it. Arin lit on a stage like the performer was, looking up at him with those big, brown eyes, waiting for Dan to guide him. Oh no, he definitely wants to kiss him. 

“... yes.” 

“There’s your answer then.”

“What answer? That doesn’t help me at all! This makes things way worse!” 

“This is what’s making things weird for you. You’re figuring out that you’re sexually attracted to your best male friend when you’ve felt heterosexual for almost forty years. You’re allowed to feel weird.” 

Dan opens his mouth to speak, but can’t make the words come out. He crosses his arms instead. 

Brian takes another sip and continues, “What I think is complicating things is that you’re not looking at the bigger picture.” 

“What bigger picture?” 

“Think about your entire relationship with Arin. Are you more comfortable with anyone else?” 

“I’m not a hard guy to get along with, lots of my friends make me comfortable. I’m comfortable with you.” 

Brian waves his hand. “You’re comfortable with all of us, but on the same level as Arin?” 

“I’d say I’m still pretty damn comfortable around you, dude.”

“Do you cuddle on the couch with me? Do we share bites of food? Do we borrow ponytail holders from each other’s pockets?” 

“To be fair, if I knew you had ponytail holders on you, I would dig them out of your pockets too.” 

Brian rolls his eyes and leans forward. “Danny, you know that I would kill for you.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you had.”

“Shut up. I would do anything for you, but I truly believe Arin would bring you the moon and the stars if you asked for them. You have a relationship with him that’s beyond just being comfortable with someone. It’s been there between you for a long time, but it took a catalyst, something outside your control, to shake up what you thought you knew about yourself. About him. The fact that Arin didn’t make a joke out of this makes me think he’s going through some questions of his own about what happened, about what he’s able to tell you about himself honestly.” 

There’s no words for Dan anymore, too much to process. Brian tells him to think about it, to call him if he needs to. He gives Dan a crushing hug and another soul-searing look as they pull back from one another. “I mean it, Dan. I’m here for you, even if it’s just to talk things out. I can start buying ponytail holders if you want.” 

The joke shakes Dan out of his fugue and he shoves at Brian’s shoulder. They smile at each other. “Thanks, I know. I really appreciate it, Bri.” 

“Anytime.”

*

David Attenborough murmurs quietly in the background about some birds in the brush as Dan lies on his couch, nature documentary largely forgotten. His feet hang off the edge of the armrest, his hands folded on his stomach as he looks up at the ceiling and tries to parse his afternoon. 

He stares at the speckled texture of his living room ceiling and lets his mind fall back to his childhood, thinking of the glowing planets, moons and stars he had stuck above his bed. What would that little Danny think of this grown-ass Danny? The one who should have his shit together by now? Especially with something as basic as what gender he likes. 

“He’d bring me the moon and stars, huh?” he mutters to himself. Dan knows without question he would do the same. 

It wasn’t just because Arin had changed Dan’s life - he definitely had. He owed everything to Arin and Brian, their friendships building the foundation of his success and well-being. It wasn’t out of a sense of gratitude or repayment that he would do whatever Arin asked. It was because he liked making him laugh until he hits a coughing fit, or the soft look he gets when Dan’s being genuinely thoughtful and he pulls him in for a bear hug. 

Dan rolls over and watches birds peck at insects as his mind wanders. He likes making his other friends happy though, right? There’s always a good feeling of making someone you love smile, so it’s not just Arin. He imagines Brian staring him down and gives the thought a rewind. 

Okay, but does the way it feels to make Arin happy match up with how it feels to make his other friends happy? 

Dan frowns. No, that feeling doesn’t match up. It hasn’t matched up for a long time. There’s always been an extra spark of joy when he really makes Arin laugh, a pride he doesn’t feel with anyone else. Maybe it’s because Arin’s one of the funniest, most thoughtful, creative people he knows. He examines that admiration for a moment before adding a physical hypothetical. 

They do touch each other a lot. Arin is naturally handsy, but so is Dan. He’s always taken comfort from being physically close to his friends - not just to huddle for warmth since he’s always fucking cold, but just from the sense of peace that comes from that connection with someone that wants you to be around them. But is that a sex thing? He didn’t think so. 

He sighs deeply and, in the privacy of his own thoughts, he allows himself to wander. How would he go about this with a woman he was attracted to? They already have the flirting part down. Dan likes to get to know potential partners for a while before making any moves, so they have that part down too. Maybe go to dinner? Watch movies at his place? Already happens frequently. 

He slips his eyes closed and imagines bringing a girl home. He’d bend down and take her face in his hands to kiss her - but that’s wrong, he wouldn’t have to bend down for Arin. Where would he put his hands? Would Arin kiss him first? His stomach flips at the thought. 

They’d move to the couch first, the very couch he’s lying on, and make out for a while. He usually likes to pull girls into his lap, but how would that work with a man? He imagines Arin bullying his way into Dan’s lap, settling his weight and trapping Dan’s legs with his thick thighs. Arin has so much that Dan can grab onto and he shudders at the familiar tightening of arousal in his stomach. Okay, so. That’s working. 

He shifts on the couch and remembers the burn of Arin’s hand on his back, the quiet voice he used in Dan’s ear. Would he use that same voice in Dan’s lap? His lips kiss-rough and swollen, begging Dan to take him upstairs. He’s so bossy, but what if Dan grabbed those pushy hands and held them still? 

Dan’s stomach swoops and he bolts up on the couch. That was - almost too much. His heart races and he places a hand on his chest to calm down. On screen, Attenborough chats idly about mating rituals while the birds show off flashy feathers and dance around their potential mates. 

He looks down at his half-boner and scowls. Humans should have feathers to just tell each other how they feel. He drops his head to the back of the couch and brings his hands up to cover his face. 

This shit is way too complicated. Why couldn’t they all just be birds!?

*

Dan wakes up the next day thinking about mating rituals. This is the day he and Arin are due to record, their small break over. Maybe he could run some tests to gauge Arin’s reaction. He knows it’s avoidance to not just talk to Arin about what’s going on, but he gives himself the excuse of being an emotionally stunted man who will deflect until he dies before being upfront about something like this. 

Especially not with something so life-changing for Dan, but also potentially friendship ruining. Dan’s actually not too worried about that part. He could see things being awkward for a bit, but he loves Arin so deeply that even if this attraction turned out to be one-sided, he could make himself get over it. Enough to convince Arin. 

So time to see if it's one-sided or not. 

*

Dan starts small. 

Now that he knows this new information about himself, he wants to measure his own reactions as much as Arin’s. They’re on the Grump couch, about 30 minutes into their session, which is usually when they start getting more comfortable. It’s a rare spooky game they’re playing, even if the graphics are a little childish. Dan can’t help the squeaks at jump scares and he pulls his Giants beanie down over his eyes as Arin runs past ghosts, cackling. 

“Arin, this game wasn’t supposed to be scary!!!” 

“It’s called Spooky’s House of Jump Scares, what did you think it was going to be like?” 

“Like!! With some little cute animated ghosts! There’s stuff chasing you! What the fuck is that - !!” 

His knees are already pulled up, but he stretches his feet out and buries his toes under Arin’s bare thigh. He’s wearing one of his favorite combos - shorts with a hoodie - and Dan wiggles his toes just to make Arin jump. He does and smacks at Dan’s knee, but doesn’t make him move. Checking in with himself, Dan decides this isn’t that much different than normal, gets comfortable and vetoes another episode of this bullshit. If he scoots a little closer than normal, it’s a scary game, okay? 

“Next time on Game Grumps, we’re playing something with fucking puppies in it.” 

Arin gasps. “FUCKING PUPPIES? THAT’S ILLEGAL, YOU SICKO.” 

He’s sure the audience can hear him rolling his eyes through the microphone, but he laughs anyway. 

*  
They split for a few days, then come back on a Thursday evening to record. Dan’s completely wiped; working on stuff for Starbomb _and_ NSP is a new level of exhaustion he hasn’t felt in a long time. He knows his voice sounds tired, but he tries to keep the energy up. 

During a break, Arin looks him over thoughtfully. “You wanna play a versus? Might keep you awake a little longer. We should record for probably another half hour.” Dan yawns and does the most cliché move in the book - putting his arm on the back of the couch just a little too close to Arin. 

“Nah, I just want to watch you for right now.” 

Arin waggles his eyebrows. “Just wanna watch, huh? I see you trying to put the moves on me, Danny.”

Dan wiggles a little closer on the couch. “So what if I am?” He raises an eyebrow and for a brief moment, he can see Arin considering what he’s saying. If it wasn’t something he was already looking for, Dan never would have caught it. The thought in Arin’s eyes is gone before he can even react and then that obnoxious porny girl voice is right in his ear. 

“OOOH Danny you can unnnn oh YEAH watch me all you want!!” Dan laughs and tugs on the end of Arin’s hair that’s brushing against his fingers and they pass it off, getting ready for the next episode. He doesn’t move his arm away though. 

The episode continues, but the weariness is genuine enough to where Dan feels himself drifting at lulling moments. He pulls himself into his customary ball, but it pushes him almost flush with Arin’s side. Arin doesn’t say anything to him, currently in the middle of a story about getting lost at Disneyland. 

Putting his head on Arin’s shoulder feels like the most natural thing in the world, as Dan compliments a perfect shot from Arin. This isn’t an unheard of position for them, but Dan doesn’t normally end up actually snoozing on Arin. 

Arin’s being very still, even as his thumbs jab at the controller. Their speech hasn’t changed, but Dan’s thinking about his limits in this situation and not ruining any footage with Arin being pushed too far. Arin’s hair tickles his face, so he reaches up and tucks the strands behind Arin’s ear which leaves space for him to smoosh his nose into Arin’s neck for a second. 

The game sits blinking as Arin pauses. “Dan?” he asks, his voice quiet. 

Dan’s too tired to really assess what _Arin’s_ feeling at the moment, but he looks inward and decides he could do this everyday, every hour if Arin would sit still long enough. He snuffles against Arin’s collarbone. “Meh, I’m a sleepy sheepy.”

Arin huffs a laugh, his hand resting on the top of Dan’s socked foot that’s tucked next to Arin’s knee. “Yeah baah, bitch. I think this session is going to have to wait until after we’ve got little Danny into bed.” 

From Dan’s position, nearly pressed against Arin’s neck, he can’t help but brush his lips very gently against skin as he turns his face towards Arin’s ear, his eyes covered by his own hair & Arin’s. “Ooh, you gonna take me to bed, Ar?” He coos right into Arin’s ear, probably too soft for the mics to pick up. 

The vibe is instantly different. Dan can feel it change around in the way Arin deliberately doesn’t tense his shoulders, in the subtle shift of his hips. His laugh has a false ring to it as he marks the end of the episode. Dan turns his face back down so he’s watching the menu screen of the game, remarkably comfortable for how hard his heart is beating. 

They stay like that for a while, Arin not making Dan get up, checking his phone. Dan genuinely drifts off, dozing for around ten minutes until Arin lifts his shoulder the smallest bit. “C’mon, man. Let’s get you home. We can try again next week. We got enough footage for today.” 

“Nooo,” Dan groans and burrows closer. Arin’s laugh is warmer this time. “Look, I know I make an awesome pillow, but I’m sure your pillow at home is just as nice.” 

“My pillow doesn’t smell as nice as you.” It’s out before Dan can even think to filter himself, but he means it. Before Arin can react, he gives one last face press into Arin’s neck, blows a raspberry, and lifts himself up slowly, falling backwards on the couch in a mess of throw blankets. Arin groans and wipes at his neck, but Dan can hear the smile in his voice.

Turns out that’s just as comfortable to nestle into and he drifts again as Arin gets up to shut down the room. His shirt rides up a bit on his stomach as he stretches his arms above his head, claiming most of the couch. 

He doesn’t know how long it takes Arin to get everything powered down, but he’s more than a little dreamy when he feels fingers as his forehead, brushing the hair out of his face. “Dan, time to go.” 

Dan tries to turn his face up into those fingers, but Arin’s already grabbing onto his wrists and pulling him up. He’s standing and yawning while Arin waits there with him. He rubs a fist in his eye and feels a sliver of guilt for bonking out so hard. “I’m sorry, man. I had such a long day, I promise I’ll be more high energy next week.” 

“It’s okay,” Arin says, but doesn’t move. They stand there for a moment longer, just looking at each other. Dan hadn’t noticed the dark circles under Arin’s eyes earlier and he frowns.

“Arin, are you okay?” 

“Of course. Are you good to drive home?” It’s definitely not what Arin was going to say and Dan’s known him too long for Arin to get away with deflecting. But he lets it pass as Arin is already heading for the door. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

*

Now that Dan has set … something in motion, he’s not sure what to do next. Arin has been paying attention and now Dan feels his eyes on him from across the room. Whatever this tension is hasn’t affected their working relationship yet, but Dan worries it’s only a matter of time. 

He’s more worried by the fact that he doesn’t _want_ to stop touching Arin now. It’s become very addictive, very fast, to the point where he would have a sexual harassment claim from anyone else. He finds himself hooking his chin over Arin’s shoulder while he’s talking in the kitchen to Matt, hugging him much more frequently, laughing more at his jokes. Just because it feels really _good_ , like finding this out about himself has released him from a burden he didn’t even know he was carrying. 

Brian would probably have some more words for him, but he’s not in the office as much anymore and Dan feels like he’s sneaking by without judgement since Arin’s technically not saying anything. Just watching. His non-reaction is a reaction in itself and Dan’s back to square one - what does he do now? 

A voice very much like Brian’s says, _TALK TO HIM._ But nah. 

He’s pondering, sitting at his small desk with his headphones hanging around his neck, totally spacing out. His laptop screen is blurry in front of him, his glasses forgotten on the tabletop. He startles as someone begins to slip the headphones off, fingernails gently scratching the sensitive skin of his throat. Shivers break over him involuntarily and he spins in his chair, surprised. 

It’s Suzy. 

She’s smiling at him - critical, but warm. She drops the headphones on the desk next to his glasses and takes one of his hands in her own. 

“How about we go for a drive, Dan?” 

He’s powerless; when Suzy wants something, she’s going to get it. He stands with her gentle tugging, pockets his cell phone and follows her out the door, her hand never leaving his. Arin’s stare burns into the back of his head all the way out the office front door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continued kisses to my personal lovelies, hopelesslybenaddicted & bluebatwings, for their beta skills. 
> 
> I have very little knowledge of the geographical layout of LA, so just hand wave over the fact that Griffith Park might be a million miles away. Distance & time are an illusion.
> 
> Super grateful for all the amazing feedback last week! Final chapter next sunday!

They drive for 45 minutes to Griffith Park, the sun starting to lower as they reach the parking lot. It’s a perfect dusk and Dan would enjoy it, if he could focus on anything other than the tortuous ride he just experienced. 

As soon as they reached Suzy’s car, he opened his mouth to start talking and she hushed him, saying she had a podcast for them to listen to. He drummed his fingers over and over on his knee as they listened to two women talk about a Native American deer woman myth. He could tune in for a moment, but as soon as he glanced at Suzy, every anxious thought pushed all sense out the window. His lunch almost made a reappearance halfway through the drive, his palms itchy and his head pounding. 

He looks to her now, as they walk towards one of the wide concrete paths, passing by other leisurely strollers. Is she angry with him? Why did they have to come all the way out here? Has Arin spoken to her? _What does she want?_

They find a secluded bench by a copse of trees that leads to some hiking trails. Not many people pass them as they sit. They’re a comfortable distance apart and Dan watches as she pulls her hair over her shoulder, a glossy black curtain catching the dying sun. 

He can’t take it anymore. “Suzy, _please_.” 

He hates how wrecked he sounds. Desperate, afraid, and not ready for the talk he knows is coming. 

Suzy finally looks at him and he doesn’t see anger - yet. She searches his face for a moment. 

“Dan, we’re gonna have a serious talk, but you don’t have to worry so much. You look like you swallowed paint thinner.” She grabs his hand and entwines their fingers. “It’s okay. Take a breath.” 

He pulls strength from the warmth of her palm against his and drags a quiet breath through his nose, out his mouth. He didn’t realize how close he was to losing it like a dramatic child without Suzy even saying anything to him. 

She turns to face him more comfortably. “Now. Why don’t you tell me what you think we’re here for?” 

His fingers tighten involuntarily around hers and all the panic floods back. Oh god, oh fuck, women are so much smarter than men - it’s such a well-crafted question. She has him pinned in two seconds flat. He could try to lie - he’s a TERRIBLE liar, she’ll know that he’s lying right away. If he tells her what’s really going on with him, he might reveal too much, stuff that she doesn’t know is happening, which could make her truly angry with him when it could have been avoided. 

There’s not an easy route, so he goes for simplicity. He closes his eyes. “Arin,” he says on an exhale. 

She gives his hand an encouraging squeeze and he blinks his eyes open in surprise. She’s smiling at him. “Yes. Arin. Something’s changed recently, huh?”

“Suzy, I’m so fucking sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing, _I’m sorry_. Please don’t hate me. Please, I’ll leave and -”

“Dan, no. No! Hang on a second. Just let me speak.” 

He shuts up immediately. 

She looks back to the park sprawling in front of them, thoughtful. “I’m acting as a type of mediator here. Because what’s been happening is hurting the person I love most in the world and none of it needs to hurt.” 

Dan’s stomach plummets. _Arin._ Had he been hurting him all this time? 

“Arin says you’ve become a lot more tactile since we got home from the tour.” She looks back to him. “It’s because of the festival, right?” 

Exhaling, he drops his gaze. Call him a coward - he can’t look her in the face and talk about this. He can barely talk about it in his own head. “Yes. The festival.” 

“Tell me about it.” 

Begging off won’t work, so Dan decides to barrel through. 

“It was the rope performance. You were there. I was joking with him and he didn’t take it as a joke. He looked at me like he was serious about being tied up and - and I can’t stop thinking about it. Arin never gets flustered talking about this kind of thing.”

He drags his gaze back up to meet hers, pleading. “Suzy, I swear I didn’t mean to hurt him. I would never, ever dream of hurting him.” 

“I know. That’s why we’re here.” 

“I’ve just been trying to figure this out and only thinking of myself, dragging Arin along with me without even telling him what was going on.”

“You have. Kind of a dick move.” 

He groans and tries to pull his hand away. She laughs a little. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to beat you up. You’re doing enough of that as it is. I’m trying to fix this in whatever way I can.”

Confusion starts to cloud the self-flagellation. “You’re not mad?” 

The smile she gives him is so warm and genuine that Dan doesn’t know what to do with it. 

“No, I’m not mad.” 

“Then what are you doing?”

“I don’t think what you’re feeling is new, despite how new it feels to you.” 

Dan can agree with that. “I’ve been… thinking about that lately.” 

“Do you love Arin?”

“Yes.” No hesitation.

“Are you _in_ love with Arin?”

“I … I don’t know. I can’t answer that.” Dan swallows, thick and uncomfortable.

She pulls a knee up to rest between them as she leans on the back of the bench. 

“I’ve been asking Arin the same questions. His answers have been very similar to yours.” 

That knowledge makes something stir and flutter in Dan’s stomach, but Suzy’s moving on before he can examine it.

“You’re not the only one that learned something new about himself in Seattle, but I think he’s been thinking about this for a while. Arin and I talk a lot and we don’t hide anything important from one another.” She holds his gaze for a moment. “I’d like to do the same with you.” 

Dan couldn’t look away if he wanted to. “Do what?”

“I want us to be open with each other. Me, you, and Arin.” 

He nods, speechless.

“I already trust you, so it’s just another step in our friendship. What Arin said - or more what he _didnt’_ say - is true. He gets tied up on a regular basis. By me.” 

How does she look so calm talking about this? Dan needs to check and make sure he hasn’t accidentally boarded a roller coaster with the way his stomach roils. 

“Um.”

“It’s okay. I said I trust you. Don’t worry about speaking just yet. I’ve always been adventurous and Arin is always game to try new things. We dated a long time and we’ve been married for a while now too. Things change up and we find new ways to fit together.” 

Dan specifically doesn’t think about the ways they might fit together. 

“Shibari is -”

“What?” Dan asks, confused. 

“Shibari,” Suzy clarifies. “It just means ‘to tie’ in Japanese. It’s been adopted in the West as the name for rope bondage.” 

Dan’s face heats up at the word ‘bondage’ and he mentally shakes himself - _what are you, fourteen??_

“I got interested in it for aesthetics at first. The ropes often end up geometric, as the safest way to encase the body. Then suspension adds another element to it. You can turn a few feet of rope and a person into an art piece. I’m not advanced enough to try suspension, but I’m getting really good at designs.”

Dan finds the presence of mind to ask a question in the jumble this information is making of his brain. “How long have you been doing this?”

She leans her head back and studies the tree tops, thinking. “About three years?”

_They started this after they knew me_ , he thinks. Not that it’s ever been any of his business. He tries very hard to not think about Arin coming up with this idea while Dan sat next to him on the Grump couch. 

“What made - Arin?” He sounds like an idiot, but he has to know.

Her head stays back and she closes her eyes, voice going a little dreamy. “I actually didn’t bring it up. He borrowed my laptop when I left it downstairs one day. I came home that night and he was already ordering some basic gear. He’d been watching Youtube videos all afternoon.” 

“We tried them on me at first, but it was all wrong. There aren’t many female riggers - people who tie up others - so there wasn’t as much guidance for me. So many tutorials were for women’s bodies, or bodies that didn’t look like Arin’s. I could tell he wasn’t happy doing the tying up either, so we adapted.” 

When Suzy doesn’t speak for a moment, Dan finds himself whispering. “What does… that feel like?” 

She lifts her head, no judgement on her face, but her eyes are sharper, focused on Dan. “Which part? The tying up or Arin in general?” 

He covers his face with one hand. “I don’t know. Anything. All of it.” 

“Arin will have to tell you his side of things. I can’t speak for him. The tying is soothing - for me and for him. It’s not about hurting the other person. It can give them a sense of stability and I find a creative burst in making the patterns and having a pliant model. Complete control.” 

_So maybe it isn’t a sexual thing for them_ , Dan thinks. 

“I also find deep satisfaction in him submitting to me, so we have amazing sex after he’s untied and rested up. He has trouble leaving the headspace behind, even during aftercare. He’s told me it calms him down and helps him focus, but he’s naturally submissive anyway. It brings him just as much satisfaction which is why the arrangement has worked for so long.” 

_Okay, never mind._

“It’s also a form of intimacy like I’ve never experienced. I get to touch every inch of my husband and let him know he’s loved.”

She scoots closer and puts their joined hands on her lap, her serious look frightening Dan. 

“Here’s where the touchy-feely shit comes in. I know you’re still trying to figure things out on your end, but you need to talk to Arin. He’s been so lost and this is the only way I know how to help him, since you two will take another five years to actually talk about the important things and I don’t have that long to wait.” 

“T-Talk to him? To what end? You’re married!” 

She releases his hand to do a prayer pose. “You have my full blessing.” 

“What?”

“I told you I trust you. I trust Arin, too. I said I wanted us to be open with each other and this is part of that.”

Dan’s head is spinning. “Suzy - I. You’re going to have to be more clear. I’m already freaking out, spell it for me.” 

“I’m inviting you to be in a relationship with us. Romantically, sexually, whatever you’re willing to give. But I’m only part of this. That’s why you need to talk to Arin.” 

“Woah.”

Dan bends forward, resting his arms on his knees and cradling his head there. Too much to take in. Suzy doesn’t rush him and he lets his heart slow down, listening to some kids in the grass far away playing football. A warm breeze ruffles the hair on the back of his neck and he sighs, sitting up. 

“I know this is a lot.” Suzy is sympathetic, her eyes searching his. “Arin and I have talked about it these past few weeks and I know it’s what he wants too.” 

She takes his hand again. “We could make him so happy, Dan.” 

He gulps and looks down at his shoes. “So you would be okay with - with what? I could -” 

The words stick in his throat, but he allows himself to envision it. “I could kiss him? You wouldn’t mind?”

Suzy’s eyes light up. “So you want to kiss him??” 

Her eagerness actually breaks the tension for a moment and Dan laughs, sheepish and blushing. “I don’t know. Maybe.” 

“I don’t have to be there all the time, but I would like to see that at some point.” Her voice takes on a lower tone and Dan looks up, startled. It makes him think. 

“That’s something else - not that I don’t find you smokin’ hot, Scuze, but I don’t….” 

She waves him off. “You don’t feel the same way about me as you do about Arin, I know that.” 

Dan jumps again as she begins sliding their hands down the inside of her leg, his heart kicking in his chest. “But are you totally closed off to the idea of us? You don’t have to have heart-eyes for me for us to have a good time.” 

Sound drains from the background and he’s totally frozen at the look of intent Suzy’s giving him. “I’m! Not opposed!” he squeaks. She laughs and releases his hand. 

“Good! Let’s head back.” 

*

The parking lot of the Grumps office is empty except for Dan’s car by the time they get back. Suzy pulls up next to it as Dan unbuckles his seatbelt. He thinks he should say something, but he’s not sure what. What does one even say in a weird ass situation like this? 

“Dan. Look at me.”

He does as she removes her seatbelt too, turning to face him as much as she can in the driver seat. She reaches her hands out to cup the sides of his face and gives him every warning sign, moving slowly before she presses their lips together in a chaste goodbye. It lasts for less than a minute, but Dan feels a pressure released in his chest that had built up all afternoon, for weeks even. He pushes back the smallest amount before she pulls back, smiling. 

“I know the love we share isn’t the same, but I _do_ love you, Danny.” She rubs a thumb over his cheekbone before releasing him. He grabs one of her hands before she can retreat and presses a kiss to the top of it, surprised by his own boldness. The warmth in his chest spills out and he’s suddenly so grateful for her, for her understanding, her generosity and the secret heart of her relationship that’s she’s choosing to share with him. Despite his fear going in, he feels so much more clear-headed after their talk. 

“Thank you, Suzy. I mean it.”

“I know you do. Bye, Danny.” 

He grins at her and heads out to his car. 

Sitting in his front seat, he pulls out his phone. No new messages from anyone that counted. 

He opens his text app and finds Arin. 

_Hey, you want to come over?_

_Arin: Be there in an hour._

Dan grips his steering wheel very tightly before shaking himself and starting the drive home. 

Okay. An hour. He can do this. 

*

He makes it home in 40 minutes with much less traffic on a weekday night. He’s glad for the distraction of the drive because now that he’s here, he’s going insane. 

There’s not much stuff in his house in the first place, so cleaning up wasn’t an option. He ends up shuffling around a few coasters on his coffee table and putting away the blurays on his TV stand. Shit that literally no one would care about, especially not Arin. He’d seen Dan living in squalor at Barry’s place, there was nothing about his home that would upset him. 

He’s diverting himself from the real fear that’s crept back into his whole body, despite all Suzy’s reassurances. 

There’s a knock on the front door and he jerks, too tense. Oh fuck. His discussion with Suzy rushes back, littered with his own imaginings about what she described, and there’s another knock. FUCK he should answer the door. 

Putting one foot in front of the other is harder than it sounds, but he manages. He pulls open the door before he can chicken out. It’s just Arin. 

Breathless, beautiful Arin, whose hair is askew from nervously running his hands through it. Dan’s seen him do it a thousand times and something about it reassures him. Arin’s just as scared as he is, which makes it so much easier to step to the side and let him in. 

If one of them needs to be brave, he can be brave for Arin. No matter how much his brain tells him he’s going to die from anxiety before he makes it through this conversation. 

“Hey, Ar.”

Arin looks thrown by the casual greeting when he passes by. “Um. Hey, Dan.” 

He throws himself down on Dan’s couch and his leg immediately starts bouncing.

Dan enters the room fully. “Do you want something to drink?” 

Arin’s eyes shoot up to look at him. “No. Dan, please. Please come over here. Suzy wouldn’t talk to me. She said you would have to explain.” 

Hearing his own pleas from earlier repeated back to him gives Dan the fortitude to come sit next to Arin, their knees almost touching as he turns sideways on the couch. He runs his fingers up and down the fabric on the stripe of couch between them, looking down and gathering his thoughts. 

“Okay.”

Arin waits a moment, his hands fisted on lap, not facing Dan. “Okay?” 

The tension in Arin’s voice causes Dan to look up at the sweat at Arin’s temple, the fear radiating off him. It makes Dan want to pull him close and _soothe_. 

“I’m afraid,” Dan says in a small voice. 

Arin jerks his head towards him. “What?” 

Dan ruffles the hair at his forehead and stares at his blank TV screen, sighing deeply. If he can’t be honest with Arin, who can he be honest with? 

“I’m turning 40 next year and I’ve had some revelations the past few weeks that have really fucked me up and I’ve made some really bad decisions.” 

“Oh,” Arin says on an exhale, the one word carrying so much despair and hurt that Dan has to turn back to look at him, eyes wide. He reaches out for Arin’s leg on instinct, his fingers curling in the material of his sweatpants. 

“No, wait. Not bad like - ugh. I’m so fucking bad at this.” 

“It’s okay, Dan. I get it.” The blank way Arin says it makes Dan’s heart feel like it’s going through a trash compactor. 

“You absolutely don’t, dude. Hear me out. The way I’ve been fucking up is by hurting you. That’s what Suzy wanted to talk about today. I’ve really not been thinking about anyone but myself lately and I don’t know if you can forgive me -”

“Of course I can. You’re forgiven.”

Dan huffs a laugh. “You don’t even know what I’m asking forgiveness for.”

Arin turns on the couch so they’re facing each other. “Doesn’t matter. It’s already forgotten.”

Dan rolls his eyes, exasperated but affectionate even when he’s still so worried about the conversation. Arin has a way of derailing him. 

“Like I was saying, I’ve been super selfish lately because - because I’ve been thinking about you.”

Dan doesn’t continue, so Arin looks down, his hair swinging in front of his eyes. “About me?”

The words stick in Dan’s throat, so he swallows, pushing forward - stumbling in the dark, but rushing towards Arin. 

“I - the festival. Arin. You have to know. It won’t leave my head. You always joke about this shit and you chose right then to be honest with me. Or I thought you were being honest? It felt like it.”

Dan digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, rambling. “I just was so thrown by it, by the idea of you. Like her, like the performer. And it just never came up again! You know how I get when I’m just, in my own head, 24/7. I talked to Brian and he made me ask some really important questions about myself.”

Arin remains quiet, fingers folded together in his lap, still looking down. Dan wishes he could see his expression to read the atmosphere, but barrels forward again. 

“This is entirely new news to me, but Brian thinks I’ve just been an idiot and this is something bigger and I’ve had some time to think about it and I agree with him.”

Arin finally glances up and Dan exhales hard. Unshed tears wait in the corners of Arin’s eyes as he speaks. “What news?”

Dan feels a burning sting in his own eyes and he realizes how alone Arin has been in all this. Dan’s been throwing mixed signals at him right and left. If he was in Arin’s position right now, he would think the worst, awaiting the parting blow that would shatter him beyond repair. 

“I think I’m in love with you. Not the bro kinda love, not the you’re-my-best-friend love, though those things are true. Arin, I’m - I’m trying so hard to figure this out and I’ve been pushing and pushing at you without telling you what I was doing. Like this is sudden, but it’s not sudden at all. I can’t imagine my life without you. I can’t think of another person where I can just _be_ and breathe and you take every bit of me in like I’m not a fucking mess all the time.”

“I don’t know how I went this long without realizing that no one else makes me feel like you do. It’s like you threw a bucket of water over my head at the festival and I was able to see clearly for the first time, to really _look_ at you.”

“But you’re married, Arin, and presumably straight. I tore myself to pieces trying to put this together in a way that didn’t end up with me leaving. So I was an asshole and I tested your boundaries. We’ve always been physically close, but how far was too far? How close could I push myself to you before you would shove me away? I almost _needed_ you to push me away so that I could justify it was right for me to leave you alone.”

“You haven’t done that, though. You kept right beside me and I know I’ve been freaking you out and -”

Dan feels his throat closing up as he shuts his eyes, his words thick with oncoming tears. 

“I’m sorry, Arin. I know you said you forgave me already, but I feel so rotten that I came to this huge conclusion and I left out the most important person involved in it. I’ve been so afraid to come to you, to just fucking talk like Brian’s been telling me to do for ages. It took Suzy kicking my ass into shape to make me admit what a dick I’ve been and that I should just sit down on my couch and talk to you, make things clear between us.”

“I totally get it if you want to leave, if you want me to forget this. I can learn to do it in time. I don’t want to be away from you, Arin. I just want to figure this out and …”

He runs out of steam, totally exhausted. He opens his eyes to find Arin openly crying. He reaches out in alarm for Arin’s hands, clenched tightly on his lap. Using the momentum of the pull, Arin leans forward and rest his head on Dan’s chest, his breath hitching as he squeezes Dan’s fingers to death. 

Dan places one hand on the back of Arin’s head, softly cradling him in bewilderment. “Ar?”

No response. A wet spot begins to spread on the corner of his t-shirt where Arin continues pressing his face. He must be able to feel how hard Dan’s heart is beating, adrenaline barely keeping him together at the seams. He continues stroking Arin’s hair gently, speaking quietly. 

“Suzy said… that she wants us to be open with each other. That she wants us to be in a relationship - you, me and her. I don’t know what that fully means, or what that means to you.”

He can feel Arin trembling slightly in his arms.

“She said she couldn’t speak for you, that I needed to find out for myself what you wanted to say. I’m here in whatever capacity you’ll have me, big cat. If you want me to back off, or pack up, or just sit here, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything for you.”

The longer Arin stays silent, the more Dan’s sanity frays. Tears prick his eyes again and he squeezes their hands tighter. He whispers into the crown of Arin’s head, “Please, Arin. Please talk to me.”

Arin’s chest expands against his own in a deep breath, but his trembling remains. He finally pulls his face up to look Dan in the eye, his cheeks blotchy and his nose runny. Dan immediately reaches behind him for his side table, blindly grabbing a tissue and passing it to Arin. He takes it with a wobbly smile and wipes his face, his eyes clearing and he takes a few more deep breaths. 

Dan waits in agony, their hands still pressed together, now atop Dan’s knee. Arin scrubs his free arm over his face and when he lowers it, a smile is starting to form. It feels like the sun rising on a new day to Dan. 

“Happy tears.”

Dan’s heart lodges in his throat. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I want this - you. I want _you_ so badly that - I don’t know what I would do. I kinda feel like I’m gonna barf on your couch with all this emotional shit.”

“C’mon, man. You know I just had this thing cleaned.”

Arin gives a watery laugh and drops his head again, staring at their hands. “Suzy had to kick my ass, too. I’ve been fighting with myself about this for ages and she finally got sick of my bullshit.” 

“She has a way of cutting to the point, huh.”

That makes Arin smile too. “She does.”

Dan can’t stand not seeing Arin’s face right now and he reaches out, slowly, to give Arin time to read his body language. When he doesn’t pull away, Dan tucks his curled finger under his chin, lifting his face. “Hey.”

Arin’s expression crumples when their eyes meet and a few more tears run out of the corner of his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think I would be this emotional about this. I just - didn’t think this would happen. Ever. You’re the straightest person on the planet, Dan. What the fuck was I supposed to think?” 

“Hey, I know, I know.” He stretches his fingers out to wipe away the tears. “We’ve both been hitting our heads against the same wall, but we’re here now, right?” He holds Arin’s face in his hands, trying to give him his most reassuring smile. 

It works. Arin wraps his fingers around Dan’s wrist, just holding on. “Yeah. We’re here. Can I kiss you? I’d really like to kiss you, Danny.”

The words are calm, but intent thrums like a generator behind them. The quiet, solid surface of the earth with churning magma beneath. 

Dan grins. “Only because you asked so nicely.”

He expects a smash of teeth and eagerness, but Arin lets out a sigh and just searches Dan’s eyes for a breath. He leans forward slowly, until his eyes can’t focus on Dan’s anymore, so he closes them. 

Arin’s mustache brushes Dan’s upper lip first, which makes him giggle nervously. He can feel Arin’s smile when he presses their mouths together, warm and dry. There’s no ringing bells or cannonfire, but Dan feels something profound quietly click into place in his chest. 

Arin’s still holding onto his wrist and Dan flexes his fingers on Arin’s jaw, pulling him closer as they share breath. Arin’s nose presses against his own, the grain of his beard pleasantly scratchy as he tilts his head to slide his lips across Dan’s. 

It’s warm and slow, a quiet tide drifting them together as Dan opens his mouth. Arin slides his tongue behind his teeth for the smallest moment, teasing. He pulls back and Dan wants to chase, but Arin just presses his closed lips to Dan’s for another moment, not moving.

Dan realizes Arin is _savoring_ , memorizing this moment as much as Dan is. It makes him want to melt right through to the floor, so maybe Arin could scoop him up in a jar and carry him around forever. It’s a silly thought and it makes him snort a breath against Arin’s nose that’s still pressed so close to his. 

Arin pulls back, his eyebrows raised. “Excuse me? The first thing you’re going to do after I show off my amazing kissing skills is laugh? How fucking dare you, Daniel.” 

Dan releases his face and dissolves into helpless giggles, wrapping his hands around Arin’s as he leans his head back and shakes with laughter. Arin’s whole aura is amused and Dan just wants to be close to him. He tugs on their hands again and wraps his arms around Arin’s shoulders, burying his face into Arin’s neck. Arin’s arms close around his ribcage, his big hands spread on the middle of his back. 

They hold each other and exist. Dan needs to feel something real for one moment longer, needs Arin to anchor him before he floats off into space. Arin’s deep voice vibrates against him as he speaks near Dan’s ear. 

“I don’t have anymore thinking to do. I know I’m in love with you and it’s been a long time coming. You don’t have to have everything figured out right now, but I’m here for you, Dan. No matter what you need.”

Dan can’t help the little noise that escapes him as he crushes Arin to him, overwhelmed with happiness and relief and love. Arin hugs him just as fiercely. 

They pull back and stare at each other after a moment and Arin quirks a smile at him. 

“We should talk to Suzy.”

Dan grins and leans forward for a quick peck on Arin’s mouth, just because he can. 

“We should definitely talk to Suzy.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for skipping a week! A lot of things happened - including Flamecon but also seeing Ninja Sex Party in New Orleans (I'm a ghost now). Excuses, etc. Thanks for sticking with me. 
> 
> The good news is that I had more time to work on this beast and I've got an extra chapter for you. It's ended up spreading like kudzu through my google docs. These last two parts expanded into a word count that beats the first three chapters already posted. It's A Lot. 
> 
> I'm really happy with how this fic has twirled out, so I hope you like it too! Let me know if you spot any errors. Many sparkly peach and eggplant emojis to my constant heroes, bluebatwings & hopelesslybenaddicted for their beta support <3

Suzy isn’t quite home when Dan follows Arin back to his place. She’d gone out for cat food and texted Arin back immediately when he said that Dan was coming over. ‘Home soon.’

Arin fumbles with the front door keys before unlocking it, holding his foot in the entryway to prevent any daring cat escape plans. Mochi and Mimi greet them in the hallway with soft, chirrupy meows which means Dan is legally obligated to pet them. He picks up Mimi and scritches under her chin while Arin toes off his shoes, turns the lights on.

The mood is - something. Arin doesn’t look at him as he passes. Dan is trying very hard not to think about the fact that he kissed his best friend and now they’re waiting on said friend’s wife to get home so they can talk about it. Trying being the key word - a klaxon of anxiety blasts his periphery consciousness, but he’s definitely just going to snuggle this cat for now and pretend not to notice Arin bending over to grab some cups out of the dishwasher.

He studies Mimi’s content face, but the thought crosses his mind that maybe that’s allowed now, the staring. If they were going to do this, Dan would have permission for all sorts of things he’s been denying himself to even imagine. He lets the purring fluffbundle drop to the floor with a soft _fwoop_ before crossing the kitchen.

Arin blindly sets one glass on the counter and stoops further to grab another, head bent towards the open door. Dan takes the opportunity to cross the short space between them and gently place his hands on Arin’s hips, admiring the stripe of skin between his waistband and his shirt that caught Dan’s eye in the first place. Arin jumps, startled, and straightens, pushing him flush with Dan’s torso. The thrill of it shakes him, to feel Arin pressing so fully against him. He keeps his hands in place as Arin doesn’t breathe.

“Dan,” Arin exhales and Dan can see him gripping the kitchen counter with white knuckles.

“Is this okay?” Dan whispers. A pause, then Arin nods and Dan grips his hips a fraction tighter. He desperately wants to pull Arin’s ass straight back, but senses that might not be the best move at the moment. He noses his way to Arin’s ear instead, breathing softly on his neck.

“Sorry I scared you. I couldn’t help myself,” Dan continues, his voice low. He can feel Arin lean his head the slightest bit, giving Dan room to explore his neck.

Arin clears his throat. “Couldn’t help what?” He keeps the same volume as Dan, but the crack in his voice heats Dan’s blood. He’s antsy, squirming against Dan’s torso at any ticklish movement.  
Dan presses gentle kisses to the sensitive area behind Arin’s ear, then traces the rim of it. When he blows cool air against hot skin, Arin melts into him, one hand going for Dan’s on his hip, the other reaching for Dan’s hair.

A gentle tug on his scalp makes Dan hum, so Arin does it again. Dan’s free hand snakes up and rests low on Arin’s stomach, possessive in a way Dan’s not sure is allowed yet.

“You looked so good bent over, I wanted to touch you,” Dan says into Arin’s ear and it earns him a shortened gasp. Arin detangles them clumsily and turns around, his eyes wide. Dan yanks back, his hands hovering at his sides. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t think --”

Arin shakes his head and pulls Dan’s hands back to his hips and closes the space between them, but not as tightly as before. He looks dazed and flushed and so cute that Dan wants to lock the door, close the curtains, and cuddle until the world ends. He stays quiet while Arin gathers his thoughts.

“Don’t be sorry,” Arin sighs. “I’m just - working this out. This is all new to me. You saying something like that is straight out of a JO sesh and I’m having to connect that fantasy with reality.”

He meets Dan’s eye. “It’s overwhelming. I want this. It’s just new. I’m sorry.”

Dan smiles and pulls him a little closer. “What are we, a bunch of fuckin’ Canadians? You don’t have to apologize either. I admit, I’m a little, uh, worked up from earlier.”

The tips of Arin’s ear are red. “From one kiss?”

It’s Dan’s turn to be embarrassed. “Dude, I’ve been popping boners from just smelling you on the Grump couch. Work has been a nightmare.” He reaches up and cups Arin’s face, making sure Arin can see how serious he’s being. “Kissing you was like. Beyond. So beyond whatever I imagined it was going to be.”

Arin looks wobbly for a second, before a mischievous glint takes over. “I thought you had been holding an awful lot of pillows in your lap lately,” Arin says, sly.

Dan shrugs helplessly, rubbing his thumb high over Arin’s cheekbone. “Can you blame me? You’re fucking hot.”

Arin swallows hard and the red from his ears washes down to his face, his throat. Dan marvels at the heat he can feel beneath his palms and he wants to make Arin blush like this _all the fucking time_. “You’re starting to look like one of your schoolgirl animes when they get the red lines all over their faces.”

An ugly snort escapes Arin before he turns his face to the side, laughing. Dan pulls his chin back to him, pitching his voice low and sultry. “Sempai’s finally noticed you, Arin-chan.”

They’re both laughing hard as Arin tries to push Dan away, but not before Dan manages a quick peck on his lips. He backs up a step as Arin uses his foot to flip up the door of the dishwasher, shutting it with a click. Arin slips a ponytail holder off his wrist and Dan wonders at how even such a tiny thing as him tying his hair back makes Dan’s stomach flip. He got a haircut the other day, so it’s only a little tail and Dan doesn’t resist the urge to give it a small tug.

Arin swats at him, but Dan can tell he’s smiling. He fills up their glasses with water from a filtered jug and Arin slugs most of his before looking back up to Dan, his stance too casual as he leans against the kitchen counter.

“We could try again, if you want,” Arin starts.

“Our highschool anime roleplaying?” Arin lets out the high pitched giggle that Dan knows means he’s really tickled. It makes his nose scrunch up and Dan loves it. He takes a sip of his water as Arin composes himself.

“No, you goof. The - kissing. We could keep going. Suzy’s going to be a minute. We could, y’know. Pass the time.” He smooths a hand over his mustache and it’s the only indicator of how nervous he is to even ask. Dan sets down his glass and wipes the condensation off on his jeans.

“I’m game if you are.”

When neither of them move, Dan decides to take action. He removes Arin’s glass, sets it on the counter and lets him get acclimated to their proximity. He’s discovering that he likes the moment of anticipation of kissing almost as much as the act itself. Arin watches him, wary and hungry.

The expression derails Dan for a moment and his own confidence falters. How was he supposed to go about this the right way? He didn’t want to fuck this up. It’s just a kiss, not a fucking proposal. He hopes it’s the second of many, many other kisses.

He falls back on his imaginary scenario from days ago - what would he do if it was a woman in this situation? It’s not fair to Arin to imagine him as a woman, but it’s the only experience Dan has (so far). Surely the rules are the same. He can be the same kind of lover he’s always been.

Locks of hair have fallen out of Arin’s tie from his shorter cut and Dan smooths one behind Arin’s ear, slow and lingering. He’s someone who wants his lovers to know they’re adored, like it’s his privilege to touch them. It takes no effort at all to let that adoration shine for Arin and the moment Arin deciphers his face, he wraps his arms around Dan’s neck and they’re kissing.

It’s not like the previous kiss. _This_ is the hurried, desperate reaction Dan expected before. A dam has burst now that Arin’s been given permission to kiss again and Dan groans into Arin’s mouth, jerking Arin’s body to his in a swift pull.

They’re backed against the countertop, pressed hip to heart, and Arin opens his mouth on a harsh sigh, inviting Dan to explore. Dan can’t hear anything else when their tongues glide against each other, blood rushing through his ears fast enough to make him lightheaded. He knows it’s probably too forward, but he slides his hands around to Arin’s ass, not gripping or forcing, just pressing.

It kicks Arin into overdrive, his fingers tangling in the hair at the base of Dan’s neck, as the kiss turns dirty. The quiet moans he’s making are driving Dan up the wall. He hasn’t made out like this since he was a teenager, but he has the added advantage of years of experience, so sloppy licks can turn into a seductive move instead of an awkward drooling incident. Arin bites on his lip and Dan jumps before giving back as good as he’s getting. He finds he likes the almost clumsiness of this moment; they’re so wound up they can’t show off to each other what kind of kissers they are. Dan just wants every part of himself touching some part of Arin and he can impress later. He’s got some steam to let off first.

The desperation must be rising in Arin too as he pulls one hand loose of Dan’s hair and places it on his chest, insistently pushing him. Dan would think he wanted them to stop if not for how fiercely Arin is sucking on his tongue, so he treads backwards carefully.

His knees hit a kitchen chair and he drops, his hands moving to Arin’s hips. Arin almost knocks the breath out of him with how fast he crawls into Dan’s lap and uh, there’s no way Arin’s not feeling his half boner with how they’re sitting.

They come to the realization at the same time and they pause, Arin staring into Dan’s face while he gingerly sits on his lap. Dan wants to _devour_ him - Arin looks a wreck. Brown eyes almost black from dilation, his lips red and slick. The ponytail came out at some point and strands of hair are sticking to his neck. He looks wild, debauched and all they’ve done is make out for five minutes. What would he look like when Dan _really_ got to work?

The idea makes him groan and he drops his head back for a second; he’s gonna cream his jeans if Arin keeps looking at him like that. He can tell Arin needs a second and Dan should probably breathe a little too.

“Well, mark me down as scared _and_ horny,” Arin says and Dan is seized by laughter so hard his ribs hurt. He curls his knees up behind Arin for a second with his laughing, rocking the chair. Arin smacks his bare feet to the tiled floor to balance them, his own amusement clear on his face. They settle again and Arin cups his hand around the base of Dan’s head, cradling him upwards til they’re nose to nose. He presses their lips together once and the lingering humor makes the moment even sweeter. Dan wants to burst with the affection flowing through him - he can’t believe they get to do this.

Dan gives another short, soft kiss, much slower this time. “Maybe we should cool it for a second, huh?”

Arin’s eyes are hooded, the worry of earlier abating. He noses down to Dan’s neck, still holding him up while Dan lets his body relax. He feels warm all over, languid and loved. The bristle of Arin’s mustache sends pleasant shivers up his spine. He closes his eyes, but then squeezes them shut tightly when Arin shifts forward on his lap, lining them up ass to crotch. The weight and heat is torture for him to stay still, so he grips Arin as hard as he dares.

In-between sucking kisses to the racing pulse beneath him, Arin speaks. “I don’t want to cool off.” He works his hips forward and Dan can feel an answering arousal. It makes his mouth go dry in a confusing way. He’s never had another dick pressed against him like this, but he’s not fleeing from the idea. If anything, he’s curious, wants to feel Arin out, know the shape of him. He keeps his hands still as Arin continues little circles with his hips, grinding slowly while encouraging blooms of love bites where the curtain of Dan’s hair will cover later.

Dan realizes he’s panting with the effort of keeping still, wanting to give Arin space to explore while molten lust turns him to cinder. He can’t stand it anymore when Arin works a little faster and realizes Dan’s at full hardness, a quiet, pleasured sigh escaping to the humid air between them.

“Arin,” Dan groans. “We’ve got to stop.”

“Nooo, I’m enjoying the show!” Suzy says from the doorway and many things happen at once.

Dan’s whole body stiffens while Arin tries to leap away from him. The chair creaks with the sudden movement and they start to tip backwards with Arin’s weight shifting. Dan wraps his arms around Arin’s torso to prevent him from falling, but boosts their momentum, so they end up on the floor, with Dan’s hands crushed beneath Arin’s back. They both ‘ooof’ in pain, their positions swapped with Dan in Arin’s lap, the chair knocked to the side.

Suzy rushes over, concerned, and Arin moves as quick as he can to get off of Dan’s crushed fingers and scoots backwards. Suzy reaches out to give them a hand up - Dan takes it, wincing as he stands and shaking his hands out.

“Ahh fuck, that smarts.”

Arin scrambles to his feet and turns to the fridge, digging for ice and placing it in a dish towel before handing it to Dan. Suzy rights the chair and they all stand there looking at each other for an awkward minute. Dan brushes his hair forward on his shoulder, self conscious of the marks he knows are flaring to life up and down his throat. “So….. hey, Suzy.”

She smiles at him and turns to give Arin a kiss. Dan expects the quick husband-wife-kiss they give each other in greeting all the time, but Suzy pulls Arin down to her level and goes for it. Arin’s mouth is black from her lipstick when she releases him, his whole face flushed in embarrassment or arousal or maybe a mix of both. Dan can’t help smiling at how speechless she can make him. She shoots him A Look after that has him standing up straighter, a blush coming to his own face.

Suzy takes Arin’s glass of water and watches Dan over the top of it while she sips. He resists the urge to spin on his socked feet and go right out the door. They weren’t doing anything wrong - Suzy had explicitly given permission for exactly what they were doing! Dan can’t shake the guilt and he knows he’s projecting these feelings onto the look Suzy’s giving him. He also gets the feeling she just likes watching them squirm.

“I’m going to go take off my makeup. You two should get cleaned up, then meet me in the living room,” Suzy says with no room for questioning. Dan almost wants to salute.

She passes him, Mochi trailing at her feet and then she’s gone. Arin and Dan stare at each other for a moment, stunned. Dan points to the corner of his mouth. “You’ve got a little something there.”

Arin swipes his fingers over his mouth and grimaces when they come back black. He jabs a thumb over his shoulder “Okay, I’m going to use the downstairs bathroom. You need to go?”

Dan shakes his head and leaves Arin to it as he settles onto the giant couch in their living room, holding the ice pack to his fingers. He’s always liked this couch because it left enough room for him to comfortably pull his knees up and not have his feet hang off the edge. There’s a throw blanket on the back rest that Arin said was specifically for him when he needed it (he tested it out to make sure it would be long enough for his legs). Arin always runs hot, so Dan appreciates the gesture when the AC is cranked to Mr. Freeze temperatures.

Wrapping it around himself now covers him with the smell of the Hanson-Berhow home, along with some - pfft - cat hair. He pulls a piece away from his mouth and thinks about taking out his phone, but stops himself. Looking around the room is a reminder of the conversation he’s about to have, a perfect representation of the two people who live here. The aesthetics are dark - black couch, black fireplace - with taxidermy and preserved skulls on the walls. Pure Suzy.

Arin is here too - the entertainment stand beneath the TV holds crooked stacks of games and brambles of wires connected to consoles. The coffee table has some anime artbooks in Japanese resting on the rack beneath the glass top. A neat line of mecha toys (and a Godzilla) stand guard on a shelf nearby.

Nothing looks out of place - they meld together to make a home. A drop of doubt begins to bloom in his stomach. Where could Dan fit in this room? In this relationship?

Arin flops on the couch next to him before the thought takes root, smelling of lavender hand soap. He tugs on the edge of the throw and Dan relents, opening his arm as Arin scoots under. The blanket isn’t big enough to cover both of them, but Arin doesn’t seem to mind, his bare feet sticking out the other side. He rests his head on Dan’s shoulder, Dan drops the wet washcloth on the side table and they wait.

“You know, I was thinking about how scary all this is,” Arin murmurs. Dan hums to let him know he’s listening.

“Scary, but exciting,” Arin continues. “And I thought, the people I would turn to first when I’m scared are Suzy and you. But you’re part of the reason I’m a wreck, so how could I talk to you about this?”

Dan tries to stay relaxed, but he doesn’t know where the conversation is going. He’s nervous too, but he gets the sense Arin needs to get this off his chest.

“But it made me realize… it’s Dan. How could I ever be scared of you? We’ve been through so much together that this?” Arin presses a kiss to the underside of Dan’s jaw. “This is nothing. Well, not _nothing_ , but you know what I mean. You make me feel safe just being in the room, so I’m going to hold onto that. I can work this shit out because it’s you.”

Dan doesn’t know what to say, overwhelmed. He winds their fingers together instead, warm under the blanket. Arin lifts their joined hands and kisses Dan’s fingers one by one. “I’m sorry I crushed your hands.”

“I’m the dummy who put them behind you, so it’s okay,” Dan smiles. They lapse into comfortable silence and continue waiting. Dan feels like he could take on anything in this moment, with Arin by his side.

Mimi makes a grand entrance, heralding the return of Suzy. Her fur sweeps the ground as she sniffs around Dan’s socks before hopping into his lap. Suzy enters next and comes to sit on Dan’s other side, petting behind Mimi’s ears as she settles in for a full pampering.

Suzy snorts. “Spoiled.”

“Only the best for royalty. She deserves it,” Arin mutters, reaching over to scratch her other side.

Dan is bracketed by Suzy and Arin, his arms pressed to both of them and he waits to feel any panic. Nothing comes and he squeezes Arin’s hand, relieved. They had done this before, maybe not quite as closely, but Dan’s no stranger to being a Suzy-Arin sandwich. His face heats at the idea of what kind of sandwiches they could make now.

“So clearly you guys had a talk,” Suzy starts. No one says anything for a moment, the three of them content to watch Mimi purr.

Suzy sits up straighter. “Well, more like a realization, huh?”

Dan can hear Arin rolling his eyes, fake exasperated. “Yes, dear. I owe you like $1000 worth of I-told-you-so money.” Suzy leans around Dan to smile at Arin.

“It certainly took you two long enough. I should have opened a betting pool at the office,” she continues, leaning back.

Dan furrows his brow. “You mean the others have been talking about us?”

Suzy puts a hand on his arm over the blanket. “For years. Not in an obvious or hurtful way. Just that you two have been dancing around one another since you’ve met. From the outside, it’s been an inevitable thing that you’d eventually smash. We’ve all been waiting for you two to figure it out.”

Arin snickers and Dan would cover his face if he could move his arms, embarrassed. Glad to know the rest of his friends had figured all this shit out before he did. Although Brian’s pointed comments over the past few weeks make more sense after this news. Even Suzy knew?

Dan looks at her, curious. “But what about you? You were okay with the idea of us?”

Suzy meets his eye, serious but serene. “More than okay. I know it will take some time for you to get used to hearing it, but not only am I for the idea of you together, I’m encouraging it.”

Dan looks back to Mimi, shaken again. She reaches under the blanket and grabs his other hand, their fingers slotting together. “It’s a lot to take in, Dan. But ever since the two of you met, it’s been a joy to watch your partnership, your friendship, your love for each other grow.”

He turns his gaze to Arin, who he finds looking up at him from his slumped position. Dan feels stunned at the honesty in Arin’s expression. He swallows and says, “You’re married.”

Arin lets go of Dan’s hand, shifting the blanket around so his head is lying in Dan’s lap. Mimi leaves in a snit, but now Dan gets to pet Arin’s hair. He lets his fingers roam as Arin looks up to Suzy. “We’re polyamorous. We used to think it was just an open relationship thing, but we both have been looking for something more permanent. Dating other people casually didn’t sit right with either of us.”

Suzy shakes her head. “It’s fun, but it ends up feeling empty for us. It’s also hard to find the right someone - you can use dating apps or whatever, but mention that you’re married and sometimes the wrong type of people want to exploit that, enjoying the thrill of doing something wrong.” She reaches out to smooth Arin’s bangs away from his face and he smiles at her. “We’ve always been completely open with each other, that was never an element of why we saw other people.”

The love is clear in Arin’s expression as he reaches up and grabs Suzy’s hand, placing a gentle kiss on her palm before releasing her. Dan doesn’t realize he’s staring until Arin turns that look on him and Dan can’t look away, mesmerized. Is this really okay?

Suzy leans her head against Dan’s shoulder. “And that’s where you come in, Dan.”

“Me?” He suddenly feels unsure, burdened with a responsibility to make these friends - who are so incredibly important to him - happy. There’s no way they could want something like this with him. He’s a 40 year old bachelor who can’t hold a steady relationship longer than a year. They would get tired of him so fast - both of them are young and gorgeous, ambitious and apparently, full of love to give out freely. What could Dan possibly bring to them?

He’s brought back to the present by Arin’s warm hand on his cheek. “Dan, look at me. Whatever you’re thinking about right now is not true.” Dan lets out a shuddery breath and focuses.

“I don’t… I don’t know what to do,” he admits, feeling weepy. God, this was an emotional thing to wrangle.

Suzy jostles his arm. “We don’t have much direction either, which makes this okay. We can figure things out together. I already told you that I’m interested in starting a relationship with you. Something emotional - and sexual if you want to. Arin?”

“I definitely want a sexual relationship with you.”

Dan snickers and covers his eyes with one hand. “Of course you do, you fucking horndog.”

“But Dan,” Arin continues, his voice low and sincere. “I’ve never… felt like this about anyone else before. I feel for Suzy in a totally different way - we don’t have ownership over each other. We made a commitment with wedding bands, but she’s her own person and so am I. Our devotion to each other doesn’t change because we’re letting another person into our life.” Arin looks to Suzy again, his smile warm and kind. “She’s my rock.”

He returns to Dan. “But when I look at you, when I make you laugh, when I get to watch you perform - fuck, even just watching you eat a bowl of cereal! I feel so lucky to be around you. Even if you decide this isn’t something you want, I would still feel like I won the friendship lottery. If Suzy’s my rock holding me up, then you’re the sunshine making my gardens grow, the -”

“The wind beneath your wings?” Dan interrupts.

Suzy presses her face into his bicep, giggling. Arin pouts. “I was tryin’ to make some beautiful fucking metaphors for you, ungrateful dick. But I guess some people just don’t appreciate poetry.”

Dan bends over and gives Arin a smiling kiss without even thinking about it, right in front of Suzy. It feels like the most natural thing in the world and some of his fears from earlier shrink in the light of Arin’s joy. “Maybe leave the poetry to the professional songwriter,” Dan teases.

“Fuck you,” Arin says with no heat. “Anyway, I guess I love you or _whatever_.” He rolls and wraps an arm around Dan’s waist, his face pressed into his stomach so his voice is muffled. “I mean, I love you in a totally gay way, but also like, I’ve loved you for a really long time in a regular way. I dunno. I just. Love you.” He squeezes tighter to Dan and leaves it at that.

Dan wants to cry all over again, but there’s been enough tears for one evening. He pulls his fingers through Arin’s hair again, voice quiet. “Love you too, baby girl. I think we should have listened to our friends a little sooner.”

“It would have saved both of you some heartache, but you can’t take back time. Just enjoy what we have now,” Suzy replies. Dan can hear the smile in her voice.

He leans his head against her. “So what do we do?”

Suzy yawns and straightens up, pulling her knees to the side and turning bodily to face Dan. “Now we communicate. We check in with you. Are you open to having a relationship with us - particularly with Arin? You can have some time to think about it.”

Dan studies her for a moment, then looks back down to Arin, who’s peeking one eye up to gauge Dan’s reaction. He tries to imagine how his life would change if he says yes. Full honesty, it wouldn’t be that much of a change in their daily routines, but more kissing would be involved. Lots more kissing, if Dan has anything to say about it.

Suzy said in the car that she knows he doesn’t love her in quite the same way as Arin, but he imagines taking her out to the movies, kissing her goodnight, maybe with Arin there or maybe not. It’s not a bad scenario _at all_. He likes that they’re so open to trying things. That’s something he would like to explore.

Then Arin… he imagines sitting on the Grump couch being given full reign to snuggle, to touch, to tell Arin how handsome he is and to let him know he is loved, so fully and deeply that Dan doesn’t know how to express it. He wants to explore that too, maybe find the right words eventually.

He’s never tried loving more than one person at once - but that’s not exactly true. He has very close friends that he loves equally, present company included. His love doesn’t diminish from one friend to the other, like a finite amount of feeling rests in his heart. The thought reassures him that maybe he really can do this.

He smiles down at Arin and whatever look is on his face must be reassuring to Arin too. He pushes himself up on an arm and gives Dan a quick kiss, grinning from ear to ear. Dan clears his throat. “Yeah. Yes. Okay, let’s do this.”

Suzy squeaks and squeezes his arm tightly. Dan turns to her, smiling and she looks so happy and relieved. Dan didn’t realize his answer would have such an affect on her, that she had hidden doubts or fears. Suzy’s always so calm and in control, but it makes Dan’s heart melt to know she must have been afraid for them, for Arin, for their friendship going forward if this didn’t work out.

He cups her cheek gently and meets her eyes, waiting for permission before pressing forward. The kiss is sweet and honest, happiness floating up between them like champagne bubbles. She starts giggling in the middle and Dan lays quick kisses all over her face, laughing as well. He turns back to Arin with a smile on his face to find Arin almost crying again, rubbing at his eyes with his fist. Dan wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer, kissing the top of his head. “Aw dude, you’re not going to have any tears left.”

Arin clings to his shoulders, wiping his snotty nose all over Dan’s shirt. Dan groans and can’t push Arin off his lap, Arin’s grip strong. “Whatever, Dan! Fuck you, dude. I’m gross and happy, this is what you signed up for.”

He snuggles closer into Arin, but he meets Suzy’s eyes, reaching out his hand for hers.

“I did. I know what I signed up for. I’m not taking it back. I’m here.”

Even Suzy gets a teary glint in her eye as she settles back in beside him. Dan feels his universe readjust, restart and whir peacefully to life with this new adventure. He’s never felt more ready or excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If all goes to plan, I should have the final part of this up tomorrow. Thanks for reading this far doods!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Some notes:  
> 1\. Forgive the two or three week lateness on this one. It's gonna sound fake, but - I moved to another country! I've gone from the US to London for a year, so if you're a lovely in the area, give a shout :) This understandably took up a lot of my time in the past few weeks as I packed and prepared, so the timing of my last chapter went sideways.  
> 2\. To hopefully help with the sting of tardiness, I present a super-long finale, with three sex scenes lmao  
> 3\. I've done my best to show the scene in this chapter properly, including safety measures. If tying someone up is not your thing, this chapter is not for you. & consent is always the sexiest thing you can do with another person! Or two people. Or three.  
> 4\. In the middle of writing this, Super Deluxe put out another fantastic video in their sex education series, about - you guessed it - [Shibari!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1iFNXkJhuA&) I drew a lot of inspiration from this vid (esp the suspended rocking) & might suggest watching it before you read to give you a visual of what's going on & the emotional impact this type of scene can have.  
> 5\. As always, forever grateful to hopelesslybenaddicted & bluebatwings for the tireless support they've offered me. Even yelling about porn when it's 7:30AM their time. Get you friends that yell about porn across international borders. 
> 
> I'll put some more tidbits to tie things up (LOL) at the end, but for now - hope you're ready for people telling Arin he's beautiful over & over again. Enjoy!

They start slow. 

Dan stays over at their house one or two nights a week. At first, he used the guest room, until he woke up with Arin crawling into his bed at 3AM. Suzy good-naturedly complained about a cold bed, so they end up sleeping in a pile one night.

Turns out Suzy is a wide sleeper, one leg thrown over Dan’s as she snores softly, arms akimbo. Her oversized night shirt rides up in the night and Dan’s not quite there enough to lean down and kiss the soft white skin of her stomach. He really wants to, but Arin clings to his back, radiating heat. They own a queen size bed, but honestly, as much as Dan loves being sandwiched between them, this was not something he could do every night. He sleeps on a California King for a reason. 

He feels like garbage when he brings it up at breakfast, like this might be some kind of deal breaker if he can’t sleep between them when they ask. Suzy grabs his hand across the table, eyes puffy from sleep, but her smile is sincere. “We can just cuddle for naps then. Or you can sleep with us one at a time. Don’t worry so much, Dan. This is part of communicating, I’m glad you told us.” 

Arin places a plate of pancakes on the table before sitting down. “Or we could go to your place when we all want to sleep together.” He points his fork in Dan’s direction and wiggles his eyebrows. “You’ve got such a big bed, seems a shame to waste it.” 

Dan blushes and laughs, taking a hasty swig of his orange juice. That could work. 

*

Suzy makes the excellent suggestion of coordinating their online calendars so they can match up their free evenings. He and Arin have their first proper ‘date’ this way, going to an art gallery in Alhambra that’s hosting a Disney imaginary travel poster exhibit. They’re both nervous, Dan can tell, on the ride there, but once inside, the atmosphere is soothing and quiet. Arin loops his fingers with Dan’s as they pay due attention to each piece. If pressed at gunpoint, Dan would not be able to say what any of them look like - he’s so focused on Arin’s hand in his _in public_ , where people could _see them_. 

Arin stops chatting idly about the artists after a few minutes when he realizes Dan hasn’t answered him at all. Turning to face him, Dan can tell Arin’s alarmed at Dan’s freakout and maybe a bit disappointed. He shakes free, leaving Dan’s hand feeling empty and clammy. Arin murmurs a ‘sorry’ and puts a comfortable distance between them, clearly upset but trying to hide it, turning back to the artwork. 

They hadn’t exactly talked about PDA and its limits yet, but Dan immediately feels like an asshole. He runs through all the possible things that could happen if someone they knew saw them - they’d say hello? He’s not sure he wants their relationship to be spread across every Tumblr and Reddit post yet, but it’s an inevitability. He could worry about what all those people online are going to think someday - or he could make his boyfriend happy right now. 

His boyfriend? Yeah. Getting used to it. 

They were on a fucking date, for god's sake. He closes the distance between them, slipping his hand back into Arin’s. He leans over for good measure and leaves a lingering kiss on his cheek, making sure Arin can feel the apology. Arin’s wide brown eyes turn to him in surprise and Dan holds his gaze for a moment. “Sorry,” he whispers and gives their hands a squeeze. 

Arin gives him a crooked grin and turns back to the gallery, his shoulders a little straighter. He buys an _Alice in Wonderland_ print for the office and they head home. 

*

Dan ends up at the Hanson-Berhow home on a rare rainy night, spread out on the living room floor and surrounded by packing slips, pins and postcards. Arin’s back at the Grump office, answering emails until late. 

Suzy made another limited run of pins for the lead up to Halloween, her favorite holiday. Her business is booming, which is wonderful, but on the downside, she’s tripled her workload in addition to all the things she’s already doing. She’s a powerhouse and Dan admires her tenacity so much, even if he wishes he could help more. 

He’s doing his best with helping her pack orders right now, his half-eaten carton of lo mein abandoned on the coffee table. Suzy barely touched her stir fry, determined to get this round of packages to the post tomorrow afternoon. The new Alice in Chains album plays softly in the background and Dan’s still trying to figure out if he likes it, when he realizes they’ve been going for two hours without saying much to one another. 

This doesn’t really count as a ‘date’ so much, he thinks. But it’s nice to have Suzy to himself, to feel out what’s between them as much as he’s able. He gets time alone with Arin all the time, though to be fair, they’re working for a good portion of it. Setting down the current envelope, he takes a moment to really look at her. 

Her hair’s up in a half-do, her glasses thick-rimmed and smudged in the corners. She’s not wearing any makeup, so it’s easier to see the dark circles under her eyes. Dan frowns and makes a decision as wave of thunder shakes the house. 

“Suze. C’mon.” 

He stands up and holds out his hand. She shakes her head. “Dan, no. I have like fifty more of these to go and -” 

“Just for a little while. Come here.” 

She sighs and relents, taking his hand as he pulls her up. He settles her on the couch and walks to the far wall, sliding open one of the windows. The rain hits the back porch in a pleasing staccato and a clean smell wafts into the room. Suzy lit candles earlier before they started working, their soft glow diminished as they burned down. It’s enough for Dan to see by when he flips off the living room lights and picks his way back to the couch. 

Suzy can’t relax even when he pulls her to him and she rests her head against his chest. He speaks quietly, under the sounds of the storm. “This work will still be here in a few hours. You’ve got me here, so you can split it in half. It’ll take less time to get finished. You’re working so hard, Suze. Rest and let me take care of you, okay?” 

She nods in the dim light and some of the tension leaves her shoulders. Dan reaches down to take her glasses, folding them gently and placing them on the table. They rearrange, Dan clambering up on the couch and lying back, pulling Suzy between his legs and halfway on his chest. They lie together and watch the storm bluster outside while Dan hums under his breath, playing with the ends of Suzy’s hair. 

Dan breaks the silence eventually. “I’m so proud of you, y’know. You’re working so hard and it’s really showing in the quality of what you’re putting out. You’re running a business and being an entertainer and marketing all by yourself. Plus having to deal with me and Arin’s bullshit.”

She laughs softly. “Yeah, what a hassle, having a boyfriend and a husband to dote on me.” 

It takes a moment for that to sink in - yes, he’s her boyfriend. Just like he’s Arin’s boyfriend. He’s pretty sure that’s the first time any of them have said it aloud. 

She props her chin on Dan’s sternum and he can see the gleam of her eyes like a cat in the night, soft candlelight catching in the black-grey. “But thank you. I’ve been struggling recently and the demand is only getting bigger on me. Which I’m grateful for! It’s just - a lot.” 

A soft sigh and she’s scooting forward to give him a quick kiss. For some reason, Dan is still very surprised that Suzy wants to kiss him, despite her repeatedly doing so. Each time, his eyes drift closed and he blinks them open after she’s pulled away. They’ve only shared quick ones like this, but maybe because of the atmosphere, the electricity crackling in the air from the storm, he holds onto her elbows when she tries to slip back and lie down. 

The kiss presses on and Suzy gets the hint, snuggling closer until she’s lying on top of him fully, her feet resting on top of his shins. It’s so much easier to make out with girls this way, he’s found. No crick in the neck, no awkward shuffling - though he does get a thrill at the idea of picking Suzy up by the backside and holding her. Maybe later. 

Their kisses are soft and slow, unhurried like the rain. Another rumble and Dan feels it echo in his stomach, a stirring as Suzy bites on his lip and pulls gently. “Hey, Dan,” she whispers. 

“Mmm?” 

“You wanna fool around?” It should sound juvenile, yet it’s anything but. Suzy breathes it against his parted lips and Dan’s already starting to stiffen. She’s got to be able to feel it, pressed against him like she is, but she doesn’t seem to mind. He hums his consent. She sits up a little further, lining her hips up with his and they really get to work. 

Her lips are so soft on his and he can taste her expensive lip balm before it smears away between them. Suzy kisses like she does anything else in her life - assured, fierce and a little dark (Dan notices she likes to use her teeth quite a bit). His hands slide to her hips and he groans at the shape of them, his mind flashing to her recent thirsty Instagram posts that he might have saved on his phone now. He can’t see her very well, but he knows exactly what she looks like under her loose band shirt. 

She and Arin sound surprisingly alike when they’re kissing Dan. Suzy makes similar quiet, desperate noises, like Dan’s pulling each moan out of her one by one with his mouth, sipping from her desire. They continue until he feels her wiggling against him, sitting up to take off her shirt. 

He’s regretting turning off the lights now, but the dim glow still makes her look incredibly beautiful and otherworldly. She grins down at him before settling back in, her soft breasts squished against his chest. It’s not like he couldn’t feel them before, but now there’s only a layer of cloth between them. If he didn’t feel so good right now, he would stop to sit up and take off his own shirt, but that would mean actually stopping. Forget it. 

She reaches down and traces the shape of his dick through his jeans and Dan feels electrified, a deep groan escaping him involuntarily. She giggles against his mouth and continues to feel him up, shifting her hips against the back of her hand to press harder against him. 

“Fuck, Suze. Fuck!” She eats it up, licking at his lips as she moves down to work on his neck. Dan puts one hand behind his head to hold onto the armrest, his hips jerking with the effort of not grinding against her too hard. She tugs his collar down to leave biting kisses at the base of his throat and each one feels like a shock to his system. Goddamn, he’s worked up! They’re only a few weeks into this relationship, but he hadn’t been laid for ages before they all agreed to try this. Clearly he was more pent up than he thought. 

Or maybe Suzy was just that hot. That’s probably it, he decides as she unzips his fly and holds out her hand for him to lick her finger. He does so as filthy has possible, laving and sucking on each one until he can feel her trembling against him. With a shaky sigh, she reaches back down and pulls out his dick, grabbing him from the base and sliding up in careful measures. 

It’s slow, sweet torture and she continues to take her time, working him in unhurried strokes. He’s at full hardness in moments and mashing their mouths together the next instant, his tongue tracing the backs of her teeth as she looses a throaty groan in his mouth. He’s so heated, Suzy too. He reaches up with one hand to gather the thick hair away from the back of her neck, keeping her cool.

She sucks a love bite under his jaw as he gets close, a strangled whine held in the back of his throat. He can hear her whispering. “C’mon baby, let go. You can move - I can take it. Let go for me.” 

He bucks his hips and _rides_ , her hand working him faster and faster. She hangs on like a champ but it doesn’t take long for Dan to wind up, his toes curling in his socks as he reaches his peak. It’s like she punched him right in the diaphragm, all the air leaving him at once as he comes. He crushes her to him, working his hips in slow circles while she slides her hand through his aftershocks, clever fingers pulling every last drop from him. 

They take a moment, Suzy panting against his chin while Dan tips his head back, regaining his senses. She’s still trembling against him and thunder claps again, pushing him to action. He scoops her up and under him, flipping their positions. She gasps but is on board right away, wrapping her legs around his waist as he leans down to give her the filthiest kiss he knows how. 

“Damn, girl. This ain’t your first rodeo, huh?” He smiles when she’s too worked up to really answer him. She grabs one of his hands and shoves it to the loose sleep shorts she’s wearing. He traces the edge of it, teasing. 

“If you don’t get to work, _cowboy_ , I’m gonna show you what a real wild bronco looks like,” she grits out, her hips pushing insistently against the flat of his hand. 

Dan can’t help laughing. “Is that a promise?” 

She groans in exasperation but he can see the glint of her teeth in a smile. “We’ve really got to work on our sexy talk.”

“We’ve got plenty of time for practice,” Dan says before leaning down to kiss her again, sliding his hand into her shorts. He has to pull the material away, the drenched fabric clinging to her vulva. She gasps against him as his long fingers tease, slicking up before sliding into her. She grips at his shirt, her fists balling the fabric in tight knots. “ _God_ ,” she manages before Dan presses against her clit with his thumb and gets a full body shiver as his reward.

Her eyes are clenched closed as he holds still, letting her adjust for a moment. He wants to do this in the light next time. He can’t stand not seeing her like this and he makes up for it the best he can by placing kisses on her cheeks, her eyes, her mouth. “Is this okay? How do you want me to go?”

She breathes out and rolls her hips against his wrist. Her eyes meet his in the dim light and Dan’s stomach swoops at the raw heat there. “It’s good. Go harder.” 

He pecks her on the cheek and grins. “Yes, ma’am.” 

Dan’s not always prided himself on having large hands, but as soon as he found out how great they were for female partners, he changed his tune. Suzy clutches his shoulders as she ruts against his fingers; he curls them inside of her gently on the next thrust and she cries out, pulling him down for a harsh kiss. His wide thumb rubs as fast as he can on her clit and she moans against him, pressing her forehead to his shoulder. 

“Ahh, Dan, please. Danny, ahh faster-” she sighs against him and he obliges, working his arm harder and deeper, feeling like they were going to push the couch cushion right off to the floor soon. If he could get hard again so quickly, he’d be right here with her. Instead, the familiar flush of arousal simmers in his belly, urging him faster and faster. He had to see her come right this instant. 

“Dan-!” she gasps on an inhale and then she shudders apart, her arms collapsing inwards as Dan pushes against her chest, grounding her. She contracts around his fingers again and again as she holds onto his wrist, keeping him still while she writhes down onto his hand. Eventually she subsides and they’re both panting like they’ve run a mile. 

He pushes the hair out of her face with his clean hand and they stare at each other for a moment. “Holy shit,” Suzy says louder than they both were expecting, which sends them into giggles. She pulls his face down for a soft, lingering kiss and pulls back grimacing. “Sorry, that’s kinda gross. You might have some come on your face.” 

Dan shifts her upwards and lies sideways, laughing. “It’s not the first time.” 

She finds her shirt and lets him clean his hand when she’s done cleaning hers. “Um, excuse me? That sounds like a good story,” she says as she turns her back to him and settles in, little spoon style. 

Dan reaches up to grab his throw off the back of the couch and cuddles in, clean and warm, the thunderstorm moving on and leaving behind only soft rain. “It’s not that exciting. Experimenting with seeing how far I could shoot my load. Turns out it’s not actually like it looks in porn.” 

Suzy’s laugh is muffled as she presses her face into the couch. “Oh my god. Men are ridiculous.” 

“I’m not disagreeing with you.” 

They settle into companionable silence until they both drift. 

Dan wakes to a pair of warm brown eyes staring into his. _Arin._

He opens his mouth to speak, but Arin holds his finger up in a _shhh_ gesture. He points down to Suzy who’s still sleeping peacefully, wrapped around one of Dan’s arms. A soft glow from the side table lamp lets him see the mess has all been cleared up into boxes, the candles blown out. He wants to shift up and greet Arin, but they’re both focused on Suzy for the moment. 

Arin drags the blanket closer around her, keeping her warm as he lifts her bridal style into his arms. She groans and burrows into Arin’s chest, sleepy and soft. Arin mouths that he’ll be right back and Dan nods, stretching his body the full length of the couch. He dozes again, more content than he’s been in months. 

He wakes up when Arin lifts his feet and places them in his lap, settling onto the other end of the couch. His face is in shadow from the lamp behind his head and Dan really wants to see him, suddenly worried. 

“Ar?” 

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay? I mean, us? Are we okay?” 

Arin looks out across the room, quiet for a moment before turning to Dan with a smile. “Don’t look so worried. I was trying to feel it out for myself. You’re fine. When I came in and saw you together, my first instinct was happiness. So glad to see you two. I’m really digging around to find any jealousy and there’s not any.” 

Dan clambers up, curling into Arin’s side as they lean together against the other armrest, their legs tangling together. He didn’t realize how relieved he’d feel at Arin’s words, but here he is, his heart coming down from a hard gallop. “Good. I’m - I’m really glad too.”

Arin presses a kiss into the crown of his head, speaking quietly there. “If I’m being honest, I was worried that I would feel upset. Like something instinctual that I couldn’t help. But nope.” 

Dan smiles and burrows closer, at peace again. 

“Actually, I lied. I can’t believe Suzy got some of that sweet Danny D before I did!” 

Dan curls up tighter, snickering. “There’s plenty of D to go around, don’t worry.” 

“It’s fine. Anticipation makes the dick grow harder, isn’t that the saying?” 

Dan smacks Arin in the chest, helpless to his laughter. “Can you imagine if Mom had that as an embroidery hanging in her kitchen instead of the actual phrase?? Oh my fucking god.” 

They make each other laugh a while longer, then continue chatting long into the night, neither wanting to head to bed. Suzy finds them there in the morning and fixes two strong coffees and finds tylenol for the cramps they’re no doubt going to have in their necks. 

If she snaps a sneaky pic before they wake up, no one has to know but her. 

*  
Dan taps away at his laptop in the office, adding final contributions to the liner notes for Starbomb. He’s really proud of the work they’ve done on the new album, with the addition of TWRP, and his heart gets fluttery when he thinks about releasing it to the world. He’s not ever been one to count his chickens before they hatch, but he feels good about this one. Their audience is going to love it. 

He scans over the doc, double checking his own words, before briefly glancing at Arin’s and Brian’s. A spelling error on Arin’s paragraph of thanks catches his eye and he’s not sure if it’s on purpose. Best to just ask the man himself. He scoops up his laptop and heads over to knock on Arin’s office door, surprised that it’s closed. 

“Hey, Arin?” 

A muffled, ‘yeah?’ answers him. 

“Can I come in?” 

He waits a hair too long before Arin actually answers, granting permission. 

“Close it again, will you?” Arin says from his desk and Dan hears the exhaustion in his voice before he even sees Arin’s face. He walks over to stand beside Arin, who’s slouched in his desk chair, eyes still fixed on the screen. His hip rests against Arin’s arm and he waits. 

“Gimme one minute, babe. Let me send off this email.” 

Dan squeezes his shoulder in acknowledgment before flopping unceremoniously on Arin’s couch. He flips open his laptop and noodles around in his own emails for a while before closing it and watching Arin. 

He doesn’t have his orange screen protector glasses on, so he probably has a headache at this point. His hair is messy and a little oily where he’s been running his hands through it. His posture isn’t the greatest on a good day, but now he’s practically slumped, his elbows digging into the desktop while he taps impatiently on his mouse. 

After ten minutes pass, Dan slides his laptop to the ground and opens up his arm. “Arin, I’m cold.” 

“There’s a kigu over there somewhere.” 

“I’m not going to wear a fucking kigu when I have a perfectly warm boyfriend five feet away from me.” 

Ah, that got his attention. He can see Arin’s ears go pink and his posture straighten a little. They’re about three months into this and calling each other partners hadn’t lost it’s charm yet. Arin pecks a few more letters, causing Dan to whine and wiggle his fingers. “Arinnnnn, c’mon.” 

Arin sighs loudly, faux put-upon. He spins in his chair and faces Dan, who grins. He scrunches his fingers once more, arms still outstretched. Arin relents and clambers onto the couch into Dan’s arms. They fold and Dan sends them backwards with a ‘whoomph’ of the couch cushions. Arin nuzzles into Dan’s chest, releasing a bone deep sigh. “I’m so tired, dude.” 

Dan traces gently up and down Arin’s back with his fingernails. “I know you are, baby bear. Anything I can help with?” 

“Nah, I know you have your own shit to do. The touring company is doing well, we got some more bookings. I know I can pass some of this stuff off, but it’s still so new - I want to be as involved as possible while I can. It’s just a lot of work.”

Dan hums. “On top of all the other stuff you’re already doing. Maybe we could take a break soon?”

Arin is melting like a kitten against him, one arm lying over the edge of the couch to brush the floor. He’s heavy, but Dan shifts his weight to be able to breathe and they’re comfortable again. 

“I would really love that. Maybe in a month or two,” Arin sighs. 

Dan continues tracing patterns, staring at the ceiling. “What about right now - anything in this exact moment?”

“Mmm. You could keep doing that. Just distract me for a while.” 

He tilts Arin’s head up to look at him, waggling his eyebrows. “Oh, I can distract you alright.” 

Arin chuckles and they shift around. “I’m not opposed,” he says before meeting Dan’s lips. Arin really must be tired, his kisses slow and unfocused at first. Dan’s caretaker instincts surge to the surface and he sits them up, their legs tangled together and leans in to kiss Arin properly. Arin hums in the back of his throat as he warms up the to the idea, stroking Dan’s cheekbones down to his throat in a slow rotation. 

Arin tastes like Monster energy drink and Dan works to clear the flavor from both of their mouths with more kissing. It fades as he explores, kissing him deeply and working his jaw to slide their mouths together in something more than a quick make out. This scenario worked for Suzy a while back, why not for Arin? Dan Avidan: the sexy stress relief ball. 

They hadn’t gone any farther than tentatively feeling each other up through their pants. No orgasms between them, though Dan had excused himself several times in the past few months to jerk off furiously in the bathroom. 

Dan’s beyond ready to see Arin’s dick and Arin had asked for a distraction, right? 

He reaches down after a moment and begins sliding his large hand up the inside of Arin’s thigh. Arin moves immediately, his legs falling open as far as they can while they’re still tangled together. He lets out a surprised puff of air between their lips when Dan’s questing fingers reach his half hard dick in the leg of his cargo shorts. He massages gently up and down, still focused on Arin’s mouth and the soft noises he’s coaxing from him. 

Arin pulls back for a second, their noses pressed together. “Don’t tease me, bro.” 

“If there was ever a time to call me bro, it’s definitely when my hand is on your junk.” 

“We could make this even more no homo if you’d take your cock out. Classic no homo scenario.” 

Dan laughs, but feels nervous. “But I want all the homo, dude.” Arin shifts around and Dan pulls back to watch him wiggle half out of his shorts awkwardly. “Definitely a sexy maneuver there, Ar.” 

Arin blushes furiously but doesn’t stop until he’s able to spread his legs a little further, undoing his fly and pushing his briefs out of the way so the waistband is resting under his balls. It gives him enough room to stroke his cock for a moment, his eyes shooting to the ceiling then to somewhere over Dan’s shoulder as he bites his lip. 

Dan looks his fill - you’d think he’d be really, really used to the idea of dicks after singing about them for ten years, but seeing Arin’s actual junk out here in the open is rattling for a moment. He takes a breath and allows himself to quell the gay panic years of het conditioning have wired into him and focuses on Arin. Arin, who is parting his lips in soft pants, his hair half covering his face as he finally watches Dan, his dick getting harder with every stroke. He leans back on one arm and pushes his shirt up a bit before getting back to work. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dan remembers a conversation about Arin’s voyeuristic streak and damn, does he like to watch it in action. Arin looks like a wet dream, even if his eyes are nervous. 

Arin’s voice tremors when he speaks up. “Are you just going to sit there and watch me?” 

Arin coming undone makes Dan feel so sexy, it washes away the last of his anxieties and he gives Arin a smirk that would drop panties in a mile wide radius. He crawls forward, his hands planted on either side of Arin’s hips as he brings their faces close together. “You’re putting on such a pretty show for me, baby. I wouldn’t mind watching you all night.” 

He licks at Arin’s open mouth and Arin whines high, his eyes squeezed shut as he stops moving his hand. “Holy shit, Dan. God.” Dan chuckles and replaces Arin’s hand with his, sliding up and down his length light enough to tease. He tests his limits of gaydom, looking down at his hand wrapped around another man’s dick. It was … different, that he can admit. He’s glad they’ve taken things slow for now - a few months ago he might have backed out of this, but now he just wants to make Arin feel good. 

“Is it - okay?” 

Dan looks back up, meeting hazy brown eyes. “What, your cock?”

Arin shifts, flustered. “Yeah, dude. I don’t know. I figured you’d be more reluctant to hop into this once you actually saw me.” 

“Arin,” Dan says on a sigh and kisses him not with fire, but with all the love and passion he can put into the contact. Arin looks even more dazed when Dan speaks again. “You could have a fucking clown horn down there that honked every time I jacked you off and I would still think you’re the sexiest thing on the planet.” 

Arin makes a helpless little noise and buries his face into Dan’s shoulder, embarrassed laughter bubbling out of him in the most endearing way. “I’m really glad I don’t have a clown horn.” 

“But I’m just saying,” Dan continues. “You’re beautiful, Arin. I love every part of you. I might not know exactly what to _do_ with all of you yet, but I’m game to find out.” 

A lingering kiss and Arin is reaching. “Yeah, I want to find out, too. Can I touch you?” 

Dan groans a yes and Arin’s hand is down his pants so fast he doesn’t even feel him undo his jeans. Then they’re - well, that’s it. They’re jerking each other off and Dan’s not having a bad time at all. He’s daydreamed of this moment so much recently that he thought there would be some explosion or air horns, but it just feels _really, really_ good. 

Even better than the physical sensation is staring into Arin’s eyes inches from his own, watching him slowly lose his mind in pleasure. He’s saying Dan’s name so quietly every few minutes, struggling to keep his eyes open, and each time he does, Dan feels his arousal ratchet higher. God, Arin is hot. How did he get this lucky? 

He gets a wild hair and slows his fist, pulling an anguished groan from Arin. “What the fuck, Dan.” 

Dan starts kissing his way down Arin’s throat and shifts, dislodging Arin’s hand from between his legs. “I want to try something.” 

“Does this something involve my dick? Cause I really, really would like it to.” 

He places a kiss in the notch at the base of Arin’s throat and chuckles against his skin. “It really, really does. Can I taste you?” 

It sounds like Arin’s in pain from the moan he tries to stifle, mindful of still being in the office. “I give my 1000% enthusiastic consent for this plan. But are you sure?” 

Dan swings himself off Arin, grabbing a cushion from the couch for the floor. He settles in-between Arin’s legs, his knees bracketing his rib cage as Dan presses as close as he can. Suddenly face to face with a full-on penis is something of a shock and Dan takes another moment, checking in with himself. Okay, cool. This is fine. Girls did this to him all the time and they managed. 

“I’m sure. How hard could it be?” 

Arin gives a breathless laugh. “Pretty fucking hard.” 

Dan pinches gently at the inside of Arin’s thigh for the bad joke as he pulls his shorts further down, giving Arin more room to move his hips. He looks up to meet Arin’s eyes, swallowing his doubts and reassuring Arin. 

“I can’t promise this will be the amazing hot blowies we always talk about, but I’m going to try my best.” 

“Dude, I’m ready to blow just looking at you on the floor. You could honestly stay right there for long enough and I’ll come. There’s no possible way you could mess up right now.” 

The words give Dan the boost of confidence he didn’t know he needed. He gives Arin a wink before leaning forward, blowing hot breath onto the head of his cock and wrapping his fingers around the base. Arin’s trying his best to keep his head up and eyes open, desperate to watch Dan. And okay, Dan might have a little of that voyeur streak, too. He’s a natural performer after all. 

He wants to make this as sexy as possible for Arin, so that includes not gagging on his dick by trying too hard. He starts with slow licks, meeting the circle of his fist as he starts to move faster. He draws off and licks his palm, wishing they had something less chafing to work with, but not willing to go looking. Arin doesn’t seem to mind, transfixed on Dan’s face with hooded eyes. 

With a deep breath, he opens his mouth further and draws in the first inch of Arin’s cock, letting his jaw adjust to the intrusion. It doesn’t taste as bad as he imagined, but it’s not instantly pleasant. It’s completely worth whatever discomfort might come of it for the look on Arin’s face - he’s sweating and looking at Dan like he makes the earth spin. 

Oh, he really enjoys pleasing his lovers. REALLY loves it. It encourages Dan to push a little farther, bobbing his head as fast and as far as he feels safe. Arin swings his hand to the side, looking for another cushion and he smashes it to his face to let out one, deep groan. He reaches his other hand for Dan’s head, but as soon as the weight is there, Dan doesn’t like it. 

He pulls off for a second and a bloom of fire pitches in his belly at the wet sound it makes. Arin peeks over the top of the cushion before Dan removes it. “I want to see your face, baby girl. Try to keep quiet some other way.” 

Next, he places Arin’s hand on his face, blunt fingers barely cupping his jaw. “And let’s try this. Hands on top of my head feels like too much pressure right now.” Arin nods blankly, his eyes glazed and adoring. “Yes, Danny.” 

The pet name makes Dan flush for some reason, though Arin calls him that all the time. He bends back to his task, keeping eye contact as much as possible with a dick in his mouth. It gets easier as he goes along, his mouth producing more saliva to ease the way. Arin’s hand doesn’t push or guide him, just holds and it makes Dan feel owned and warm. 

His jaw starts to ache after a few minutes and he draws away, leaning his head against Arin’s hip, moving his hand down to cup his balls. They both gasp as Arin’s body tenses, his hips wriggling. Dan puts an arm across Arin’s belly, his hand wrapping around his waist to hold him still. He rests his head in the crook of his elbow, eyes trailing up to Arin’s face. 

“You mind if we finish this way? I’m going to have to work up to full blowjobs some day.” 

Arin is near incoherent with Dan’s fondling. He nods frantically, his hand automatically reaching out for his cock, but Dan swats it away. “Nah, I’m not going to leave you hanging.” He strokes faster now, wanting Arin to come so badly he can feel an answering ache in his own body. 

It doesn’t take long - Dan can feel the tension winding tighter and tighter in Arin’s stomach, his legs drawing up. Arin scrabbles at Dan’s shoulder in a death grip before he opens his mouth, soundlessly coming. It’s messier than Dan thought it would be as he struggles to catch any liquid that might hit the floor. He palms the head and smears downwards, abusing Arin’s oversensitive flesh and causing his hips to jerk and spasm. Eventually his hands are shoved away and he places calming kisses low on Arin’s belly, come cooling on his hand and sticky between his fingers. 

“Holy shit. _Holy shit_ , get the fuck up here.” Dan doesn’t have time to process as he’s gripped under his arms and bodily pulled into Arin’s lap. The strength on display makes his stomach swoop and he’s doused with a wave of arousal, cause oh yeah, he’s still _really fucking hard_. 

Arin doesn’t give him time to think, arranging him like a rag doll in his lap before reaching into Dan’s jeans, gripping him tightly. The feeling is so shocking that Dan forgets his come covered hand and grips the front of Arin’s anime t-shirt, jerking his face forward to muffle a moan in Arin’s neck. 

Neither of them are worried about finesse as Arin smooshes his face into Dan’s temple, Dan’s arm wrapped around his neck and holding on for dear life. Arin gasps, “God fucking damnit. Baby, that was so good, I can’t _believe_ how good you looked on your knees for me, sucking cock like a champ. You have no idea how sexy you are.” 

Arin continues his string of praises and dirty talk, heating Dan all the way from his toes to his ears. He’s never been on the receiving end of this kind of thing and it looks like this gay journey still has much to teach him about himself, if his swiftly increasing levels of arousal are anything to go by. He feels so worked up, reckless, like something wild. 

He turns his head to Arin’s ear, panting. “Ar, I’m gonna come.” 

Arin groans in response, hugging Dan closer with one arm. “Yes, please, please come on.” He pulls Dan’s hair away from his face and they’re eye to eye again, Dan’s face flushed so hot he feels like he’s going to overheat. “I want to see you, too. Come on, Danny.” 

He grips Arin tighter, shoving his hips against his hand before jerking once and coming, his gasping moan covered by Arin’s mouth mashing against his at the last second. This feeling rides forever, it seems, and one moment, Dan’s in cloud nine, the next he feels Arin wiping him clean with the tail of his shirt, gentle against hyper sensitive skin. 

Arin shifts him back to the couch and he floats, so happy and sated. “We should do that way more often.” Arin laughs and leans over to kiss him once, tucking him back into his pants before cleaning himself up. 

“That was worth every second that we waited. Thank you,” Arin says. The warmth in his expression lights a kindred fire in Dan’s chest and he can’t help the goofy grin spreading on his face. He points a finger-gun at Arin’s chest and winks. “Anytime, baby.” 

Arin rolls his eyes at him and shifts to stand, cracking his back. “I really do have to finish up some of this work, but I want to head to the bathroom. You wanna wait a minute and leave after me?” 

Dan suddenly remembers they’re in the office and goes cold at maybe how much noise they were making. Hopefully everyone had their headphones on? 

“Uh, yeah sure.” He ruffles his hair nervously as Arin gives him one final kiss and grabs another shirt off the back of his chair to change into. Dan waits about two minutes before assessing his state of dress, deciding he’s okay and grabbing his laptop. 

Not many people are in the office, but everyone seems to have their headphones on like Dan hoped, or they’re in areas far enough way chatting that they wouldn’t have heard anything. He sighs and heads back to his desk, avoiding looking at Ross who sits closest to him. 

He hears Arin come out of the bathroom a few minutes later. He passes Dan on the way back to his office and leans down to give him a fast kiss on the cheek. For all they’ve done in the past hour, this makes Dan’s face heat up the most and he hunches his shoulders at the twinkle in Arin’s eye. He’s not uncomfortable exactly, more like, _Ross is right there_. It was one thing knowing his fellow Grumps were okay with their relationship, but he was still working up to PDA in front of them. 

Arin’s door clicks shut and Dan relaxes before Ross gets his attention with a double thumbs up and a shit eating grin. He pulls one ear of his headphones off. “Alright, Dan! Congratulations!” 

Oh nooo, this is the last thing in the world he wants to talk with Ross about, but he knows if he doesn’t say something, it’ll just egg him on. He sighs. “Thanks?” 

Ross swivels his chair a little closer and smiles conspiratorially. “Yeah, I don’t think anyone has christened the office since we’ve had it redone. We should have a plaque made your honor.” He places a hand over his heart and stares into the distance. 

“What do you mean ‘christened’?” 

Ross waves a hand in his direction, pulling his chair back to his desk. “Oh, like consummating or whatever that’s called. You’ve got a wonderful case of ‘I-sucked-dick-a-second-ago’ face.” 

Dan is mortified, pulling on the ends of his hair as he shrinks into his chair. His voice is weak as he complains. “What…” 

The other headphone is being pulled back over his ear, but Ross finishes. “Yeah and Arin is strutting like a peacock, so clearly the plaque is worth it.” His attention is back on his screen by the time Dan shoots to his feet and scrambles to the bathroom. 

There’s no way he has a sucked-dick-face. No way, no way. 

He reaches the mirror and. Well. Yeah. He does. His lips are red and swollen, his hair is tousled into his eyes in a messy tangle and the color is still high in his cheeks as the endorphins flush out of his system. He leans his face against the cool glass and groans. While he washes his hands, he considers his face again. 

It’s honestly - not a bad look. Fuck, Ross. He can rock this. He steps back into the office and ignores Ross’ grin, flipping him the bird before grabbing his headphones and getting back to work. He fully expects to have a plaque on his desk tomorrow morning, but he could care less. He’s in a relationship with Arin and Suzy and if the office wants to give him an award, he’ll hang it up on the fucking wall. 

*

Morning sunlight warms Dan’s face as he rolls over in an empty bed. He slept over with Suzy last night while Arin was out of town. Snuggling down for a few more minutes, he breathes deeply of Arin’s pillow, curling in on himself. It was a rare day where he didn’t have anything to do until the afternoon, so he’s enjoying the lie in. 

Everything would be perfect if Suzy was in here. He listens for any movement downstairs, but hears nothing. He’s not even sure of what time it is, so he reaches backwards to grab his phone. It pushes to the floor with a loud crack and Dan winces. That screen’s been replaced twice - no need to do it again, Avidan. 

It fell under the bed and he flips his head over the edge to poke around. His fingers brush something soft before touching the cool plastic of his phone case. What was that? 

He flips the camera light on hangs upside down for a second. Suzy keeps a neat bedroom, so he’s curious as to what would be out of place. Maybe a cat toy? 

It’s pink and catches his eye quickly. He reaches out awkwardly to grab the end of it and pulls. 

It’s a coil of rope. 

Dan drops it like he’s been burned. Oh. Uh. Shit. Shit?? He’s not sure if this is something he’s meant to find. He scrambles to the floor and reaches further under the bed, pulling out a black satin box. It feels expensive and the tail end of rope sticks out of the ajar top. Dan hesitates before lifting the lid with careful slowness. 

Inside lies five neat rows of purple, black, rainbow, and two pink coils of rope. The one that’s loose looks like it hadn’t been wrapped as well as the others, packed hastily. 

Dan picks it up and winds it between his fingers, testing the durability. It’s soft - much softer than he was expecting. Hadn’t Arin said something about the woman’s rope in Seattle being too rough? Arin has pretty sensitive skin and it makes sense this would be a texture he preferred. 

He begins winding it up absentmindedly, poking around under the rope to see a small medical box. Amongst some bandages, there’s aloe vera gel, medical safety scissors, an emergency ice pack, and some tylenol. There’s also several lengths of satin ribbons and Dan’s not sure what they’re used for. They’re too short to be blindfolds. 

Lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t realize he’s rubbing the end of the rope in his fingers until he feels a small amount of fraying. Shaking his head, he begins packing it away. There’s no way Suzy isn’t going to know he messed with the contents - he couldn’t wind the rope as neatly as she did. Maybe Dan should bring it up first, to avoid any weirdness. He can’t deny his immense curiosity about this aspect of Arin and Suzy’s lives that he hasn’t been privy to as of yet. 

On a whim, he grabs one of the pink satin strands from the bottom, then pushes the box back to its original spot. He unplugs his phone and stands, stretching, loping downstairs in his boxes to find Suzy. 

*

“Hey, Suzy Wuzy.” 

She’s in her work room, inspecting an order of butterflies. The beaming grin she gives him over her shoulder makes Dan think he might have swallowed a few of them. 

“Morning, sleepy.” 

He pulls an ornate chair up to the corner of her desk, leaving her room to work while he props his chin up on one hand. “It’s only 10! I’m surprised you’re up this early, actually.” He pouts at her. “We could have had awesome morning sex if you had stayed in bed a little longer.” 

She checks an imaginary wrist watch. “I mean, there’s still a few hours left in the morning, soooo.” Dan laughs and leans forward to give her a kiss on the cheek. “What are you working on?” he asks. 

They chat about her bugs for a half hour and Dan studies the intricate tools Suzy uses to place them in their permanent shadow boxes or jewelry. She ties off a gift box with a black satin bow and it reminds Dan of the fabric in his palm. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“You just did.” 

Dan rolls his eyes. “God and I thought Arin was bad. Can you promise not to be mad that I went snooping a teensy bit?” 

He raises his shoulders with a sheepish grin and she taps him on the nose. “I’d forgive a lot with a face like that. But really, I don’t mind. We don’t have any secrets from you.”

He unravels the pink satin and folds it on the table between them. Color splotches high on Suzy’s round cheeks and she meets his eye. “Okay, so. Not exactly a secret. More like something we haven’t talked about yet.” 

She’s composed remarkably fast and she picks up the ribbon, running the soft material through her fingers. “You saw the rest of the box?” 

“A rope was sticking out of the top when I dropped my phone under the bed.” 

She sighs without heat. “Arin did some self-tie play the other day. He never coils them back right.” 

Dan’s heart kicks up a notch. “Self… tie? That’s a thing?”

Suzy starts putting away her tools methodically. “Yeah, it’s not as complex as when we do it together. But he likes the sensation. We haven’t played in a while - kinda waiting to see when it was right to talk about it with you.” 

She picks up the pink satin and holds up Dan’s wrist, wrapping the cool material in a loop. Dan knows he’s flustered, but c’mon. She can’t drop the mental image of Arin tying himself up in his mind and expect him to stay relaxed. How does he do it? Does he use the headboard? How does he untie himself? Does he jack off while he does it? _Can_ he? 

“It looks like you might be interested in talking about it.” He hears the smile in her voice before he focuses again, pulling himself out of fantasy sexland. She ties off the bow and admires her work. Glancing down at his crotch, he swallows thickly. “I’m um, more than a little interested.” 

She places her hand on top of his and squeezes. “Great! I’ll set us up a date then. Have you updated your calendar recently?”

They stand together and start towards the kitchen as Dan explains he needs to add a few things, but he should be good soon. Dan wants to cook breakfast for her, but they’re out of some essentials. She grabs her car keys and treats him to brunch instead at a diner they like down the street. The conversation is comforting as always, but Dan’s mind is a mile away, under the bed, looking at a black box. 

*

It takes almost a month for them to coordinate. They pick a Saturday when they’re all free and have no plans for the following Sunday. Dan almost barfs on the familiar drive to their house, his nerves cranked to the limit. He sits in his car in the driveway, trying to pick at the root of his anxiety and unravel it before heads inside. 

The first thing he leans on is that he hasn’t had sex with Suzy and Arin the same room. His mind echoes back to what he’s been told about this type of playing - it doesn’t have to be sexual. But Dan’s so worked up by the idea of seeing Arin like that performer from so many months ago, he knows he’s at least going to jerk it at some point. He puts his cool hands on his hot face and breathes out through his nose. God, okay, next. 

This feels big - really big - in terms of being in a relationship with someone. Is it too soon for him to be involved in their intimacy like this? Arin and Suzy have been nothing but open and sharing with him, that doesn’t seem to be the issue. 

He leans back on the headrest and studies the ceiling. So maybe this is a trust thing. Dan expects this to be an extremely vulnerable night, if the look that Arin gave him from the start of this is anything to go by. He still sees it when he closes his eyes, burned into his memory. Is Dan supposed to sit by and watch? Help them?  
He shakes his head to clear it and decides this is fucking dumb. Go inside and ask these questions to the people who can actually answer. He glances at himself in the rear view mirror and nods. 

*  
Suzy seems different when she greets him at the door. If Dan was into more hippy shit, he’d say her aura feels changed. She’s calm, decisive, even the act of her walking across to the living room is more graceful and measured than usual. He frowns at the vibe he can’t quite nail down from her. 

Arin is the complete opposite, spaced and unfocused. He’s sitting on the floor with his back to the couch when Dan walks in, louche and playing a match game on his phone. Sweat gathers at his temple already and Dan notices that, for once, he’s a comfortable temperature in this house. 

“Is your AC broken?”

He sits down on the couch with his knee pressed to Arin’s shoulder, Arin’s head leaning distractedly against him. His fingers automatically go to Arin’s hair, stroking. Some of the tension leaks away and Dan watches him carefully when Suzy answers. “No, it’s for tonight. Kicking the heater on encourages blood flow, which is important for binding.” 

His stomach gives a violent swoop, but that’s what he was here for tonight, right? He continues petting Arin, trying not to let his nervousness show. Suzy curls up on the armrest, facing them. 

“If you’re open to it, I’d like to actually try a session tonight. Arin’s already said he’s willing if you are. Aren’t you, Arin?”

 

Arin tips his head down and gives a soft, ‘yes’. He nudges into Dan’s hand to encourage the petting, but doesn’t say anything else. Suzy looks pleased as Dan glances back to her, concerned. 

“It’s okay. He’s been getting into the right headspace all afternoon.” 

“What does that mean?” 

She stretches her legs out to dig her toes into the cushion beneath Dan’s leg. He hooks his fingers around her ankle, massaging the soft skin there while she thinks. 

“We started doing this because I liked the aesthetics, then Arin was on board. But we found another reason that makes this beneficial to us - Arin’s ADD. With our work styles, it gets to the point where he can’t focus on anything because of stress or tiredness. These sessions help both of us to reset, to find meaning in each other. I mentioned it before, but I get a sense of ownership and creative fulfillment. Babe, why don’t you tell Dan your side?” 

Arin rolls his head back, slow like he’s underwater, resting on the couch cushion. Dan would almost think he was stoned if not for the semi-alertness in his eyes. His voice is sleepy, deep. “Like Suzy said, I refocus. She pulls me back into my body, back into myself. When we bind, I feel like I’m contained and the pressure takes away all distractions. When I come out of it, it’s like I’ve taken a really long nap and had an amazing cry at the same time.” He glances to Suzy. “She makes me feel special - she’s gotten really good at designs and she takes photos for us.” 

Dan really, really wants to see these photos. Suzy must sense it and stands, walking to their bookshelf and grabbing a purple album hidden behind some knick knacks. It’s not very large, but when she hands it to Dan, it feels very important. Arin looks back down, face red, but Suzy curls up next to Dan to explain the different photos. 

Here’s one of Arin with his arms drawn up behind him with black rope, a large box design covering his back. Another where his wrists are connected to his ankles, his knees pulled wide and his back arched. Dan sees where the satin fabric comes in - there are bows tied off at the end of each knot, some big and elaborate, others understated. 

They flip through a few more pages and Dan is nearly squirming. His heart races as they get to Suzy’s more artistic photos. A close up on the tension in Arin’s throat as his hair is pulled backwards, the strong line of his jaw and the curve of his closed eyes. One of his backside, framed by rainbow rope as he’s contorted, the soft rope digging indented lines into his flesh with a bright bow in the dip of his lower back. Dan finds himself touching the photos, his fingers sliding across photo-Arin’s collarbones wrapped in pink. 

“Arin…” he whispers. He sets the book aside and pulls at Arin’s shoulder until they’re facing each other. Suzy reaches out her hand and Arin crawls up to the couch, settled between them, but facing Dan.

Dan can’t keep his hands off of him, his fingers tracing the lines of his face as he looks at Arin in wonder. “Arin, you are - breathtaking. I can’t believe how gorgeous these photos are.” 

“It’s all Suzy,” Arin says, embarrassed. Dan sees the hidden glint of hope in his eyes though and continues. 

“Suzy can only work with what she’s given, baby girl. That’s your body, that’s _you_ in there.” 

Suzy wraps her arms around Arin’s middle, her head resting on his shoulder blades. Arin’s hand drops down to covers her on his stomach. He tries to look over his shoulder at her when she speaks. “He’s right, Arin. I can make all the pretty designs I want, but it’s just linings. You’re the foundation, the real art that I’m showcasing.” 

Arin dips his head and his breath is heavy as he sniffles. Suzy squeezes him tighter while Dan takes his other hand, holding it to his heart. Arin composes himself behind the curtain of his hair and leans forward for a kiss. Dan gives him one, sweet and full of love. 

Suzy props her head on Arin’s shoulder and he gives her the same kind of kiss. When they part, she scans over Dan, thoughtful. 

“What do you think? Would you like to try something like this with us?”

Dan swallows again, his throat a desert. “What would I do?”

“Well, I don’t think it would be good for you to try tying just yet,” Suzy hums. “Observing would be good for now. I sometimes get a little lost in the headspace - never to the point where I would neglect Arin. But you could talk to him, help me position him.” 

Dan meets Arin’s eye. “Would you like that?”

He has to catch his breath at the look of adoration Arin gives him. “More than anything, Dan.” 

There aren’t any words he can conjure up to match the strength in Arin’s, so Dan nods, looking back to Suzy. 

She detangles from Arin and reaches out for Dan’s hands, their fingers twining as Arin slips back to the floor, still facing them. Her expression is more serious than Dan’s ever seen it. “We have safety procedures in place, in case something goes wrong. I don’t expect it to, but always better safe than sorry. I’ll be testing Arin’s circulation constantly and he must give me verbal acknowledgement.”

“We have medical scissors, like EMTs have,” she continues. “If at any time Arin starts to feel pain that isn’t what he wants, we undo him. If he starts to become nonverbal or extremities turning blue, immediately undo him. I can replace the rope, but -” She looks down to Arin and winks. “He’s pretty irreplaceable.” Arin leans forward with a slow smile and kisses her bare knee. 

Suzy turns back to Dan. “I have snacks in the fridge for when we’re done. He usually likes apple juice to get his sugar back up. What’s your safe word tonight, baby?” 

“Usagi,” Arin says with a sheepish grin. Dan snorts. 

“Usagi is unusual enough that if we hear it, we can stop right away.” Suzy smiles. “Now, I’ve gotten pretty fast at binding, so I can usually be done in 45 minutes. I don’t like to keep Arin tied any longer than that. Professionals say 30 minutes, but I don’t usually bind him as tightly as pros would do.”  
Dan nods and lets out a breath, slightly overwhelmed. “Is there anything else I should know?”

“Yes, but it’s information from you.” 

“Me?”

Suzy reaches out for Arin’s hand, but keeps eye contact with Dan. They’re all linked together when Arin reaches up to take both of their hands. “It’s important for us to know what you want out of this situation. I’ve told you what I like to get from a scene like this and Arin expressed his interest. But what about you, Dan? I need us all to be on the same page.” 

He wasn’t expecting this question and they all grow quiet as he thinks really hard about what he wants to get across to them. Ever since this whole thing sparked in Seattle, Dan’s not been able to think about Arin (or Suzy) the same way. He dwells on the photos that Suzy took and the vulnerability and passion that lies in the album. 

But further than that, he thinks about the _people_ in front him. How much they’ve changed his life and how he doesn’t think he could stand to be apart from them anymore. Of all the people in the world they could have chosen to open their hearts to, it’s fucking Dan Avidan. He feels lucky to hold their hands, to feel the love they have for him like he’s basking in the sun. 

“I … want to be here. I want to share this kind of moment with you.” He looks both of them in the face, one after the other, so they can understand how sincere he is with every fiber of his being. “This is an honor, for me. That you would invite me to do something like this with you. I love you both and I’m so lucky to have found you. All I want out of this is to be closer to you.” 

Suzy’s nose wrinkles and she swipes at her face before leaning forward to wrap her arms around Dan’s neck. “Thank you,” she whispers into his collar before pulling back with a watery smile. Arin is totally speechless, his eyes wide as he looks up. Dan smiles at him and runs a single finger down the side of his face, causing Arin to close his eyes and release a long breath. 

“I know this is the cheesiest coffee-shop-guitar-singer thing I could say right now, but I feel like I’m dreaming just looking at you.” 

Dan barks a laugh and kisses Arin’s forehead. “Don’t quit your dayjob, baby.” 

“No shit, you’d be out of a job, too. You think they’d let you into Starbucks with that Sexbang get-up?”

Suzy untucks her legs and begins to stand. “They don’t have singers in Starbucks, some corporate thing.” 

Arin waves her off, taking her proffered hand to get to his feet. “You know what I mean.” 

Suzy gives Dan a long look from top to bottom, enough to make his face heat up. She gives him a smirk. “I dunno. I think he could rake in some pretty good tips.” 

Arin glues himself to Dan’s side, wrapped like an octopus with as many limbs as possible on Dan’s person. 

“Oh no! Dan, you’re too sexy! We’d get too successful and lose all our indie coffee shop cred! Doomed before we even got started.” 

“I could live with that,” Dan laughs. “Guess we’ll have to keep doing our current totally normal jobs.”

Before he can say anything else, Suzy is before them, a hand on her hip. She’s amused, but not laughing with them. Her eyes are on Arin, who immediately quiets. His posture droops and Dan imagines if he had puppy ears, they would lie flat in submission. 

She reaches out for his hand as he grabs at Dan’s with his other. Holding it between them, she watches the two of them, but squeezes Arin’s hand. “You’ve been working hard all afternoon to keep your headspace. I think it’s time to go back there.” 

Arin nods, nonverbal. Dan doesn’t get an angry vibe from Suzy, but even he feels a little smaller, like she’s towering about these two six-foot goobers while not even raising her voice. Powerful and beautiful, she’s got both of them wrapped around her finger. As she looks at Dan, he can tell she absolutely knows this and he smiles at her. 

“Arin, why don’t you get ready for us upstairs? We’ll be up shortly.” 

*

Lamps and candles light the guest room Suzy prepared for the evening. It’s enough glow to make everything feel warm, clean and welcoming. The bed lies pushed to the side of the room, giving more space to the floor. Arin sits on the corner of the bed and Dan notes the profound stillness, so different from Arin’s usual fidgeting or twirling. He wears a black tank and black briefs, but nothing else. He’s looking down as Dan and Suzy enter the room, but when his face lifts, Dan feels his gaze like a weighted cloak. Arin watches them closely, his eyes hooded and burning. 

Suzy puts her hand in Dan’s, giving him a reassuring squeeze. He half-smiles down at her, his attention so drawn to Arin. After closing the door, she tugs him with her to cross the room, til they’re both standing in front of Arin. 

She tilt’s Arin’s chin up and Dan has the uncomfortable, fleeting moment of not belonging in this situation a final time. The look Suzy and Arin share makes his heart skip, their faces so full of understanding and love for the other. She leans in to kiss him, still holding his chin. Arin sways to her, his hands half-lifting before they settle back in his lap. 

They break and she reaches down to take those obedient hands, pulling Arin to his feet. Dan didn’t notice the black rolled bundle behind Arin, but Suzy reaches for it and lays it out on the ground, near the foot of the bed. Spread before them are the ropes. Dan gasps and balls his fist as he sees the coils of blue, a perfect match to his performance suit - his favorite color. He darts a look at Suzy to see her eyes near glowing, a deep satisfaction on her features at his reaction. 

He feels mildly embarrassed at how much the idea of Arin being cast in these colors makes his toes curl, but it completely erases his feeling of misplacement. Suzy took the time to find these colors, maybe even dying them herself. And now here’s Arin, being positioned by her as she pulls his shirt off, to face Dan and hold his arms around Dan’s neck. Dan places his hands on Arin’s waist, holding but not pushing. 

His first instinct is to lean in and kiss Arin, but instead they stare at each other. Normally, this would be an awkward situation for Dan; he doesn’t mind eye contact, but prolonged staring with anyone starts to make him twitchy. Instead, he now looks at Arin’s face and really admires him. His hair is tucked behind his ears and it shows off his cheekbones, the slope of his nose. His expressive eyebrows, so often drawn in a grimace for comedic effect, are free from worry, doubt, disbelief. Arin’s serenity begins to spread to Dan as he fully takes on Arin’s eyes, the fathomless brown filled with an intensity that should scare Dan. 

It doesn’t - it quiets the fearful, choppy waves in his heart and they’re simpatico, breaths matching as they continue to drink their fill of the other. He’s had Arin’s dick in his mouth, but this feels a hundred times more intimate. Dan hears the quiet hiss of uncoiling rope as Suzy repositions Arin’s hands, pulling them to Dan’s shoulders and connecting his wrists behind Dan’s neck. 

Dan gets a full view of Arin’s face the moment rope touches skin and it’s exquisite. Suzy is pressed against his back as much as she can be while she draws the rope slowly in tightening grips. Arin’s eyes light, wide and joyful like he’s about to blow out candles on his best birthday ever. Then they close, a breath coming out slowly through his nose as his entire frame relaxes. Dan can almost hear the cogs slowing down in that quick mind of his. The spread of his eyelashes, dark against his flushed cheeks, mesmerizes Dan, but before he can pull him closer, Suzy draws Arin’s hands above Dan’s head and they’re detached. 

The first ties hold Arin’s wrist together in perfectly matched lines. Dan can’t stop looking at them as Suzy begins to turn Arin. He remembers the mental timer Suzy sets for herself - Arin can’t stay tied up like this for too long. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands now and a little awkwardness creeps back in until she sits him down on the bed and places a standing Arin between them. 

“Hold him steady,” she whispers. “And check in with him as I work.” Dan nods even though she can’t see him and puts his hands back on Arin’s waist, his thumbs resting right above the band of his underwear. He imagines he can hear Arin’s heart beating as he watches stripes of blue begin to cross his collar bones and his shoulders. He rubs his thumbs on the soft skin he finds, delighted by how his hands fit so well on the curve of Arin’s hips. 

He’s reminded of Suzy’s conversation with him in the park, so many months ago. 

_We could make him so happy._

Has he ever told Arin how much he loves his hips? Maybe this is what Suzy meant by worship. Dan feels reverent, struck dumb at the altar of Arin as he stares up at him, needing this man before him to know exactly how much he means to Dan. The need floods him, overwhelming, and he leans his forehead against the round warmth of Arin’s stomach. 

“You’re beautiful, Arin.” 

He feels the jump in Arin’s abdomen, like this is unexpected news. That means he needs to say it again, so he does, pressing each syllable into his skin so it would stay there forever, something for Arin to remember even when Dan couldn’t be there to tell him. 

It’s like a gate opened somewhere in him and Dan can’t stop. They _do_ talk for a living, so it’s not like he feels at a loss for words on any given day. He uses the full extent of his vocabulary to whisper every loving thought he’s had about Arin in the course of their friendship, even things from before he knew what they could be together. 

He tells him about his laugh and how it stays with Dan all day. His kindness that fundamentally changes the way Dan looks at the world. How endearing his toes are peeking out from his dirty sandals and how good those shoes make his calves look. It becomes a state of mind to tell Arin how wonderful he is and the surge of love that comes with it tugs Dan under, until he’s caressing each part of Arin he can reach, drawing his fingers down the lines of rope and the flesh in-between. 

Suzy gently pulls him away again, to have more room to work between Arin’s legs. She winds twin strands against the vee of his crotch, framing his half-hard dick. When she steps around to lessen the slack, she jerks on the rope, surprising a gasp out of Arin as he’s yanked flush with her torso, her breasts pressing tightly against his back. The snap of their collision rings in the room. He shudders against her, a quiet moan the only sound he allows, and she kisses his shoulder before getting back to work. 

Dan checks in with Arin, having him squeeze on two of his fingers to check circulation. Suzy gets a verbal check-in a few moments later, her small hands possessive and loving as she strokes down Arin’s flanks, slick with sweat. Arin sounds tipsy as she sways with him and she looks to Dan, motioning him to bring Arin to the floor. 

If they were being intimate before, it’s nothing compared to the intensity now. Suzy straddles Arin’s lap, her hips moving in slow undulations as she reaches for another coil. Dan has his back against the edge of the bed, Arin leaning back to rest his head on his shoulder as he sits between his legs, watching Suzy with drowsy interest. 

Dan hasn’t been high in a decade, but he’s very close to the same buzz of being on the edge of sober and deeply unsober. From just holding Arin, from whispering more love into his hair, his neck, they’ve recreated the sweet spot that drugs and alcohol can tip so easily in the wrong direction - the right kind of drunk. He feels so perfectly content that he doesn’t know why Suzy and Arin don’t do this every single night. 

_It’s probably just as addicting_ , he thinks. Words lose meaning if repeated too often, so he imagines this as a special treat, a time for them to check-in with each other and remind them of what’s important while using physical sensation to ground themselves.

Arin sighs against him, edging into a moan as Suzy caresses his feet, digging her thumbs into the arches before running the soft fabric between each of his toes. It makes Dan think about how turned on he should be with a moaning Arin in his lap, with a full view of Suzy’s ass swinging as she works. Instead, he’s simmering, arousal is an abstract idea. This feels like something beyond for the time being and he’s content to stroke Arin’s biceps and admire the criss-crossing of geometric shapes hugging Arin’s chest. Each knot telling him how much he’s cherished. 

Suzy turns back to face them and Dan studies her for a moment as she shifts Arin out of his lap and to the side. She looks more alive than he’s ever seen her, color high on her cheeks. She’s beautiful in her precise movements, the way she draws the rope to her and away like a musician tuning her finest instrument. He runs a hand down from her shoulder to elbow to feel the muscles flexing there and she gives him a devilish smile when she flips her hair over her shoulder, a trickle of sweat running down her neck as she gets back to work. 

She shifts them once more and encourages Dan to straddle Arin’s waist. He’s nervous, but Suzy murmurs encouragement and praise at how well he’s handled everything so far. She snatches her phone off the nightstand and positions herself in a good spot for new photos. 

He crouches as instructed, with his feet planted to the sides of Arin’s hips as he grabs the main knot on his chest with both hands. Leaning back, he creates resistance as Arin does nothing to help him, the pull of his weight arching Arin’s back off the floor. He’s completely boneless, his neck falling back as the dig of the ropes tightens against his skin. The creak of bamboo fiber makes Dan lick his lips and he feels physically unable to keep from touching him in this moment. 

Suzy does it for him, brushing her dry palm against the sweat beading on Arin’s forehead in between snaps. The touch causes Arin’s eyes to open and Dan gasps at the completely blown expression. Arin looks gone, his eyes deep and near black. His face is the perfect picture of bliss and adoration and it makes Dan curl his fingers tighter in the rope as they gently rock for a moment. Dan feels like the sway of the planets mimics this motion, the give and pull of passion, the trust and abandon they both give themselves up to. 

Suzy continues petting Arin’s hair as she whispers into his ear things Dan can’t make out. After taking a close-up photo of Dan’s hands entwined with her rope work, she says something that makes Arin nod and she places her hand over Dan’s, instructing him to lower Arin back to the ground. 

They swap places again, this time Arin lying on his side with his head in Dan’s lap. Suzy starts at Arin’s feet, slowly undoing the knots she worked so hard on moments before. Dan takes the time to appreciate her handiwork, tracing his fingers over the intricate web on Arin’s back. He doesn’t realize anything is amiss until he feels the warmth of tears soaking into his pants leg. 

Alarmed, he bends to see Arin weeping, the tears sliding in thick tracks down his cheeks. He flails for a moment before motioning to Suzy. “Arin? Are you okay?” 

Suzy drops her work and crawls up to them, holding Arin’s cheek. “Do you need to safeword? Are you in pain?” 

Arin shakes his head, then remembers to speak. It’s a hoarse whisper. “No. No, I’m okay.” 

Suzy gives him a quick kiss before going back to work, unraveling her art. Dan’s heart trembles to see the tears on Arin’s face and he wipes them away as best he can. “What’s wrong, baby girl?” 

Arin turns his head into Dan’s hip, his voice muffled. “You love me.”

Confused, Dan asks him to clarify. Arin turns his face to the open, but doesn’t look up at Dan, his speech disjointed and soft. 

“I said, you love me. Some part of me didn’t really believe it until tonight. Some part of me didn’t think I deserved this much love, so I thought the rug was going to be pulled out from underneath me. I already have Suzy, I’m was being selfish to hope for anything more than friendship from you.” 

He finally looks up at Dan, his eyes burning again. 

“But I believe you. You love me. I’m sorry I doubted it.” 

Dan shocks hot and cold at once, looking down into Arin’s determined face. He nods and confirms. “I do. It’s okay.” He verges on crying himself, flustered with emotions running high from the scene. 

The rope folds away from his chest as Suzy works her way upwards. Dan admires the red bands left behind, indentations as indelible marks of Arin’s beauty, his body flexible and pliant between his two lovers. With each coil undone, he grows quieter and quieter in Dan’s lap, a soft dusk falling over the three. 

They all sigh as the last bit of material slides away, freeing Arin’s hands. He’s complete puddy on the ground and it takes Suzy and Dan together to lift him to the bed. He reaches for them both, spooning his back to Dan as he folds them, grasping Suzy tight and drawing her to his chest. She checks in with him quietly and finds no physical harm, so they breathe together, a vibrant thrum of a job well done echoing between the three. 

It almost feels like the after-buzz of an orgasm. Dan ponders on the feeling as his eyes grow heavier and the floral smell of Arin’s shampoo causes him to close his eyes, adrift on a sea of contentedness. 

*  
It’s the overheating that wakes him up, surprisingly. Dan kicks at covers that aren’t there, his legs doing a slow jack-rabbit like a sleepy dog. He opens his mouth to whine at Arin (it’s always Arin that makes the bed too hot), but he hears quiet, wet sounds instead. Shuffling and contained moans. 

He’s hot because Arin _is_ pressed against him, but he’s squirming, not snoring into his armpit. Dan cranes his neck over the curtain of Arin’s hair to see Suzy’s hand shoved into his tight black briefs, working him wonderfully slow. He can’t help the low groan that slips free  & Arin’s hand shoots over his shoulder to grip at Dan’s neck, his plush ass settling into Dan’s crotch and _grinding_. 

It knocks the breath right out of Dan; they’ve been messing around with handjobs and blowjobs, maybe a little dry humping, but this was downright dirty. Arin is not working his hips just to get friction from Suzy. When Dan bucks involuntarily, growing hard alarmingly fast, he gets a hazy, beatific grin over the shoulder from Arin. 

Suzy holds herself up on one arm, watching the both of them. Her scrutinizing is lost on Dan, who can’t get over the feel of Arin against his cock, how incredible it feels to hold him like this. He dips down to nip behind Arin’s ear, smiling as he jumps. 

“Arin, how are you feeling?” Suzy asks, voice low. She slows her hand to barely any movement and Arin hums mournfully at the loss. 

Dan sees an empty Pop-Tart wrapper and a squeezed dry apple juice carton on the bedside table, with a tiny jar of what smells like Tiger Balm. Suzy must have gotten up during their nap to tend to Arin’s aftercare while Dan snoozed away. A tiny pang of guilt flares, but Suzy is a pro at this point in taking care of Arin, so he lets the feeling pass. He has plenty of time to learn. 

“M’fine,” Arin mumbles, his body a furnace against Dan. 

Suzy keeps up her slow pace, looking into Dan’s eyes. His blood thunders in his ears at the heat there and he’s helpless, hanging on her words as much as Arin. “Would you like the evening to continue, or are you tired?” she says, twisting her wrist in a tortuous upslide. Dan’s cock twitches in sympathy as it sets Arin near panting. He imagines a phantom touch working in tandem with Suzy’s motions and all the muscles in his lower stomach tighten. 

“Continue. Please,” Arin manages, biting his lip as he stretches his whole torso, fighting off more squirming. 

Suzy won’t release Arin _or_ Dan, mentally and physically holding them in the palm of her hand. “Dan, would you like to fuck my husband?” she says sweetly. 

She says it like it’s an everyday thing to ask someone, casual and flippant. The words shoot to Dan’s core and he overloads for a second with the thought, his system rebooting. He comes back online to vigorous nodding, his head moving without him telling it to. 

She smiles, satisfied, and asks Arin if that sounds like a good idea. Arin’s already answering before she even finishes the sentence, his yelped agreement making her chuckle. She pulls her hand loose and pats Arin on the hip. 

“You know what to do.” 

Arin reluctantly pulls himself away from Dan, then rolls over to lie on his back, scooting up so his head rests on the pillows. He shimmies out of his underwear and shoves another cushion under his hips. He starts to spread his knees then pauses, looking at Dan out of the corner of his eye, suddenly shy. 

Suzy turns back to him from grabbing supplies out of the nightstand. Purple latex gloves and lube. Dan swallows as she sets her haul down and places a hand on Arin’s raised knee. 

“What’s wrong, baby?”

 

Arin brings his hands up to cover his face. “I don’t know. It’s stupid.” 

“Nothing stupid about this, Arin. Talk to me.” Suzy rubs her palm up and down his thigh, comforting not seductive. 

Arin sighs and uncovers his red face, crossing his arms and not looking at either of them. He speaks to the opposite wall. “I got embarrassed for a minute. We’ve done this a hundred times, it’s dumb.” He hazards a glance at Dan. “We’ve not… we haven’t done this yet.” 

Suzy hums in acknowledgment, continuing her slow caress. “Would it help if Dan was the one to prep you?” 

Arin’s face goes impossibly redder and Dan’s dick gets that much harder. He’s not ever done this before, but if they’re looking for an eager student, Dan’s jumping up and down to volunteer. “Suzy could talk me through it?” he suggests. 

She gasps in delight, eyeing him happily. “Why, Daniel! I would love that. Okay, Ar?” 

Arin kind of looks like he might pass out, but in a good way, Dan thinks. He places his hand on Arin’s knee, opposite Suzy and they ease his legs open together as he tells them it’s okay. Arin’s painfully turned on by the whole situation and Dan aches with him, his own pants ridiculously tight. He can’t stop looking at the spread of Arin’s thighs, his cock so hard it lies against his stomach, his balls drawn tight. He looks ready to go off like a shot and Dan soothes for a moment, drawing his fingers up and down the underside of Arin’s thigh, pressing soft kisses into his knee. If he can acclimate him to the vulnerability, maybe this wouldn’t be over as soon as they start. 

Suzy takes one of Dan’s hands and pulls a glove on for him. It’s too small, the ridge of the bottom resting at third of the way down his hand. She wiggles her own petite fingers at him and shrugs in apology. She takes his hand back and settles on her knees, facing Dan. 

“Here’s a practical demonstration. You’re going to feel some resistance, so go slow with one finger first. Get him acclimated. Like this -” She takes his index finger and rubs it around her closed lips. She’s nailed Dan down with her hooded stare and he gulps, letting her guide him. 

“Then you can start to push in, slowly. Be gentle.” When she releases his hand to let him press against her mouth, he begins to realize what they’re doing. She could tell him to do all this in the moment, the demonstration is purely for Arin. Dan glances at him and Arin looks like he’s losing it, his palm pressed hard against his cock to keep from touching himself too much. Dan adds another finger and starts to pull them in and out of Suzy’s mouth, his thumb caressing her chin, which makes Arin’s head flop backwards on the pillows with the most helpless sound Dan’s ever heard. Death by hotness. 

He can’t imagine a better way to go - Suzy smouldering and sucking on his fingers, Arin spread-eagled beside him, dying to touch himself. She releases his fingers with a soft ‘pop’ and smiles at him, pleased that he got with the program. 

“And there you go,” she chirps. “Now for the real thing.” 

She laves his fingers with lube, holding them for a moment to warm up the liquid. Then she’s gone, pulling off her clothes as she starts to climb up the bed towards Arin’s face. She unhooks her bra and drops it off the side, left only in black undies that have a bat with spread wings across the back side. Dan tries to cover his smile and get back to the task at hand. 

It’s … intimidating. He just had a hugely emotional experience with Arin, but now he’s getting wet feet. What the fuck. 

Arin must sense the hesitation and reaches out for Dan’s wrist. “What if I showed you what I like and you can go from there?” Arin asks, so sweetly that Dan wants to burst. Arin meant it in earnest, but it’s one of the hottest things Dan’s ever heard. _Yeah, show me how to finger my best friend_ , Dan thinks with a hint of panic. 

He lets his hand go slack and Arin takes a deep breath, dragging Dan’s fingers across his hole. It’s slow, giving him time to acclimate, the muscle relaxing by increments. He pulls on Dan’s wrist and one finger begins to breach him. Arin lets out a quiet whoosh of breath and his head falls back again as he works Dan’s hands right where he wants them. His knees drop further and Dan is awestruck by the sight of his fingers _actually inside Arin_. 

_Oh, this could be very addicting_ , he thinks as he adds another finger, leaning forward on one hand so he has better leverage and can hold himself over Arin. It’s a favorite position when he does this to girls - he loves to see their faces as he takes them apart. He plants kisses on Arin’s collarbones as he pants, Dan’s wrist working smoothly. 

He hears more heavy breathing and sees through the fall of his curls that Suzy is also busy. She’s watching the place where Dan and Arin meet, her fingers moving quickly in her underwear. Dan wishes he was more coordinated, wants her to writhe on his fingers at the same time he’s fingerfucking Arin. He’ll bring it up next time. 

Arin leans over and gives a lazy lick to Suzy’s nipple, her heaving breast close to his face. She groans and turns to him, giving him more room to nibble and kiss, her hand working furiously. Arin slides his palm down her taut stomach and slips his hand into her underwear next to hers. Suzy starts shaking as they sync up and Dan feels like his stomach might turn inside out at this point from sheer overstimulation. 

Suddenly, Arin’s knees jerk and he’s gasping, grabbing at Dan’s wrist to shove his fingers in more. Arin works his hips against the intrusion, his hand slipping from Suzy’s underwear as he’s completely overwhelmed. His eyes meet Dan’s in a lust-drunk lock. “Dan,” he says and Dan really needs Arin to be ready right this very second. 

Suzy has the same idea and frantically tears her underwear off, panting at Dan. “I really need you to get in him. Like - _right now_.” She turns Arin’s face towards her with damp fingers. “Please say you’re ready?”

Arin rolls his head to eye Dan up and down. “I’d be a lot more ready if Avidan here would get with the program and whip his dick out already.” 

Dan almost forgot he’s the last one completely dressed. He’s never ripped his clothes off faster in his life, tearing a seam on the arm of his t-shirt in his haste. He doesn’t even have time to feel like a self conscious bean pole; as soon as he’s done pulling off his last sock, he’s whammied with twin stares of absolute lust. Both Arin and Suzy look like they want to eat him alive and Dan’s never felt sexier in his entire life. 

He puts one hand on the bed and realizes he still has the glove on, flinging it behind him as he yanks it off. So much for being smooth. He takes a deep breath before rolling the condom on, his dick a little too close to the edge for comfort. Arin’s positioning himself further down, making it easier for Dan to maneuver. He slips between Arin’s legs, not sure where to put his hands yet. 

Arin cocks an eyebrow at him, his previous shyness obliterated. “You here to show me a good time, handsome?” 

Suzy giggles and a dark flare of something possessive and _hungry_ fires up in Dan’s belly. He yanks Arin close by the hips until Arin’s ass is flush against Dan’s cock. He jabs his hips once and Arin’s mouth snaps shut, his face red. Dan puts one hand next to Arin’s head and leans over him, fingers digging into the soft flesh of his waist. “You’re way too coherent for my liking, baby girl,” he growls against Arin’s ear. Suzy gives a quiet moan, but Arin is shocked to complete silence. Good. 

Despite his bravado, Dan’s heart stutters when he leans back to look at the tableau before him. Beautiful Suzy, brushing Arin’s hair out of his face, Arin’s thick thighs encasing Dan’s hips. The muscles on his arms tense and bulge as he grips the pillow behind his head, bracing. Dan feels paralyzed for a moment, his heart so full of - god, _everything_. Love, lust, happiness, maybe some fear of hurting Arin - his thoughts ping around his head like loose marbles and he can barely concentrate, his hands trembling. 

Suzy reaches between them, sliding more lube onto the condom and then pulling Dan forward, guiding the head of his cock to press against the soft, slick resistance of Arin’s hole. All three groan as Dan pushes forward, breaching and stretching. Arin’s impossibly tight and Dan goes as slow as he can, biting his lip to keep from crying out. 

Arin asks for a moment to adjust and Suzy reaches between them again, gently bringing back his semi-flagging erection. Dan can feel _everything_ about Arin in this moment, the beat of his heart pulses against Dan’s dick, the smell of his arousal thick and heady, the salt of his sweat on Dan’s tongue. He’s drowning in sensation and when Arin opens his eyes to tell him to move, Dan knows they were fated to be synced like this, decided by some higher power that might exist. The adoration in Arin’s eyes makes Dan feel like he could lift a whole fucking mountain and he dives into this impossible man, needing to make him feel every ounce of love in Dan’s heart. 

They move together - Arin’s hips rise when Dan slides in, meeting him thrust for thrust. They find a rhythm that sets them both ablaze and Dan has to let his head fall back, staring at the ceiling for fear of coming by looking at Arin. He feels _so good_ , wet and hot and gripping Dan with everything he’s got. 

Oh, but Arin gets into it, one hand braced against the headboard now, the other gripping Dan’s forearm like a vice, his hips pumping faster as Dan fucks him into the mattress. All the pent up passion from the scene unleashes and Dan lets out a primal groan dragged up from the soles of his feet as he shoves a hand into his hair. 

He feels small hands on his waist, slowing him down and Arin cries out at the loss of momentum. “Oh god, what,” he gasps and Dan looks back down to see Suzy swinging a leg over Arin’s waist. She settles on his stomach, holding herself up on his chest. She looks over her shoulder at Dan. “You’ve got room for one more, don’t you?” 

Dan can’t even speak, his basic human functions completely gone now. He’s speechless still as she reaches for Arin’s straining dick and slides onto it, her ass flush with Dan’s pelvis. Her legs spread wide and line up outside of Dan and Arin’s as she leans back and wraps both arms around Dan’s neck, her throat on display as she poses for Arin. 

He can’t imagine what Arin’s seeing in this moment, but he feels the effect where he has his hands resting on Arin’s flanks. A deep trembling starts and Arin has his face covered while harsh breaths shoot through his fingers. Suzy starts to move and Arin quickly grabs her by the waist to stop her. 

“Wait - I . Need one second. Pl - wait.” 

Red flushes all the way down his throat to his chest, where he pulls in deep breaths, calming himself before uncovers his eyes again. “Suzy,” he croaks. “Gimme the…” He reaches vaguely for the nightstand. 

She leans over to grab the phone (and even that amount of movement sounds like agony for Arin). With shaking hands, Arin opens the camera app. Dan’s never thought of himself as having a voyeuristic streak, but he wants this to be a photo that Arin jacks off to for years to come. He slides a hand low on Suzy’s belly as she arches her back. Pressing a kiss to her shoulder, he looks up with half-lidded eyes as Arin snaps a few photos. He feels beautiful, powerful - a gift they have given him that he can never forget. 

He also feels like his dick might explode if he doesn’t get movement soon and he gives an experimental push, gauging Arin’s readiness. He gets an enthusiastic nod and Dan sets about learning the logistics of a fucking buck-wild threesome. 

He decides to brace against the bed for the moment, leaning his weight on Suzy a bit. She uses the momentum of Dan fucking upwards to push Arin’s hips back down with her own thrusts, trapping Arin in an endless cycle of pleasure. All three sound like _animals_ to Dan’s ears, all coherence shot out the window. Only gasps and moans ripped from their throats as they abandon reason to revel in each other. 

Dan looks down and can’t handle what’s happening, his vision blurring for a moment as he goes light-headed, every drop of blood draining to his dick. Suzy’s ass jiggles the smallest bit on every thrust from Dan and he works his hips harder, shoving deep into Arin to watch it move. Suzy slowly slides down until she’s nearly resting on Arin’s chest, all strength leaving her as she nears climax. 

It’s all Arin can do to just to hold on right now, so Dan reaches around her hip, pushing his hand into her wetness and sliding his fingers on her clit over and over. It’s a chain reaction - he knows when she comes by Arin clenching around him, her moan shaking the rafters. Arin can’t catch his breath as she slams down onto him a final time and he pulls her flush to him, wrapping his arms around her and kissing as he shakes apart, overwhelmed tears squeezing out of the corners of his eyes as he rocks. 

Suzy rolls lazily to the side as Dan goes into turbo mode, his heart beating so hard it might kick through his ribcage. Arin is going soft with orgasm, his eyes warm and sated. He reaches up for Dan as he chases his own release, every muscle in his body going tense. He smashes his mouth against Arin’s beautiful, soft lips as he pounds him, near frantic. His soul dips out of his body for a second as he hits his orgasm, gathering Arin up in his arms as his hips stutter and wind down, a white noise buzzing in his ears. 

Dan crushes himself to Arin’s chest, pressing his face against his sternum. He can’t even be bothered by all the sweat clinging to the sparse hair there - he’s just so fucking happy to be alive. He says it aloud, cause goddamn do these two amazing people need to know that fact. Suzy manages a tiny laugh while Arin pets his hair in slow, even strokes. 

“Yeah, I’m glad to be alive too. That almost killed me,” Arin scrapes out in a hoarse voice. Dan smiles against him, finally pulling out and rolling to the side opposite Suzy. He ties off the condom and sticks it under the edge of the bed so he won’t forget and step on it when he gets up.  
Suzy flops a hand behind her and grabs a cold, wet cloth, genius that she is. The temperature actually feels great on his heated skin and Dan swipes it once across his face. He then carefully goes about cleaning up first Arin, then Suzy. He needs this moment, this time to express his reverence for the two of them where words would never suffice. 

They get the message - he stares at Arin first while he cleans, his joyful eyes crinkling in the corners as he gives Dan a crooked smile. Then Suzy, her eyes swimming with gratitude for what they all three shared, presses a kiss to the corner of Dan’s mouth as he runs his hand down her inner thigh. “Thank you,” she whispers, just for them. 

He draws back and tucks the cloth on the floor next to the condom. Rolling back to the side, Suzy and Arin look totally wiped. Dan is right there with them, his body drained of any desire to move from this spot ever again. 

“That was pretty rad,” Suzy quips and Arin snorts, an ugly sound for how unexpected her humor hits him. It makes Dan laugh and he finds he can’t stop laughing, his happiness spreading from his chest to every finger, every toe, every curl on his head. To think he was ever afraid to have this. It sobers him to think what he could have missed if Suzy hadn’t been so straight-forward, if Arin hadn’t been so honest. If _Brian_ hadn’t tried to knock some sense into him. _God_. He’s the one who got them to go to the festival in the first place! 

He snuggles into Arin’s side, wrapping his leg around one of his as he hums in contentment. All the ‘what-ifs’ get put into a box that he throws to the back of his mind as Arin slides his arm around him. Instead, he makes space for all the things he’s learned about himself in the past few months, about his lovers beside him. 

He feels totally changed, yet absolutely the same. His relationship with Suzy, but especially with Arin, always had deep roots that wrapped around the core of his life as soon as he met them. He’s only nurtured that growth, until they’re all so entwined, they’ll never untangle. 

Maybe they’ll hit bumps along the way at some point (as all relationships do), but Dan doesn’t regret a second of what’s happened. If he says a little prayer of gratitude, only he has to know. 

He opens his mouth to answer Suzy, but a honking snore from Arin stops him in his tracks. Instead, he smothers his giggles into Arin’s chest, quaking with quieted laughter. Suzy reaches across from her curled position on Arin’s other side and grips his hand, her eyes dancing. 

“Such a romantic,” she whispers. 

“I’m swooning,” he whispers back, tickled pink. 

She winks at him before pulling up the duvet, switching off the light. “Love you, Danny.”

“Love you, Scuze.” 

He presses his lips against Arin’s thrumming heart and whispers there. “Love you, Arin.”

Even if Arin doesn’t answer, Dan forgives him. He has the rest of his life to make it up to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some of [Arin's rainbow rope](https://www.twistedmonk.com/collections/exotic-ropes/products/hand-spun-rainbow-bamboo-rope) :) 
> 
> Some examples of Suzy's handiwork. [ This one is SFW](https://imgur.com/Na7YqJm), while [this one](https://imgur.com/FTS1tUf) has a butt in it, so BEWARE the butt. 
> 
> & finally, a huge THANK YOU to everyone who commented or kudos'd or bookmarked this fic. I've so enjoyed writing this & sharing it with you all <3


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